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Monday, February 22, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

My cousin Mike owned one of the biggest furniture stores in Miami.

I convinced him that he needed to take a trip to Italy to check out a new line of merchandise himself, and as he was still single, he could check out all the hot Italian women. .

Mike later related, that as he was checking into a hotel in Rome, he met a beautiful young lady... she only spoke Italian and he only spoke English, so neither understood a word the other spoke.

Mike took out a pencil and a notebook and drew a picture of a taxi and a picture of a table in a restaurant with a question mark and she nodded, so they went to dinner.

After dinner Mike sketched two dancers and she was delighted.

They went to several nightclubs, drank champagne, danced and had a glorious evening.

It had gotten quite late when she motioned for the pencil and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

Mike said he was dumbfounded, and to this day remarks to me that he's never be able to understand how she knew he was in the furniture business.


As soon as she had finished convent school, a bright young girl named Lena shook the dust of Ireland off her shoes and made her way to New York where before long, she became a successful performer in show business.

Eventually she returned to her home town for a visit and on a Saturday night went to confession in the church, which she had always attended as a child.

In the confessional Father Sullivan recognized her and began asking her about her work.

She explained that she was an acrobatic dancer, and he wanted to know what that meant.

She said she would be happy to show him the kind of thing she did on stage.

She stepped out of the confessional and within sight of Father Sullivan, she went into a series of cartwheels, leaping splits, handsprings and back flips.

Kneeling near the confessional, waiting their turn, were two middle-aged ladies.

They witnessed Lena's acrobatics with wide eyes, and one said to the other:

"Will you just look at the penance Father Sullivan is givin' out this night, and me without me bloomers on!"

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