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Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

While in Atlanta on vacation, Little Johnny's Daddy took one afternoon to see historic sites downtown.

Two young families were also in line to the see the sites.

Little Johnny struck up a conversation with one of the boys in line.

"My name is Kirby. What's yours?" asked the first boy.


"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Pop do for a living?" asked.

Little Johnny replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."

"Honest?" asked Kirby.

Johnny replied, "No, just the regular kind."


A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car.

After the purchase, they drove it home and parked it on the street between them.

A few minutes later, the rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their new car. It didn't need a wash, so he hurried out and asked the priest what he was doing. "I'm blessing it," the priest replied.

The rabbi considered this a moment, then went back inside the synagogue.

He reappeared a moment later with a hacksaw, walked over to the back of the car and cut off two inches of the tailpipe.


After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed.

So the husband went to his veterinarian and told him that he and his cousin didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem but that it was expensive.

"A less costly alternative," said the doctor, "is to go home, get a cherry bomb," (fireworks are legal in Alabama) "light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10."

The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

"Trust me," said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can.

He held the can up to his ear and began to count:






At which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.

This procedure also works in Tennessee, Kentucky, Arkansas, Mississippi, and Georgia, and possibly-Minnesota!

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