Funny: Some jokes

A young man came home from the office and found his bride sobbing convulsively.

"I feel terrible," she told him. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers."

"Forget it," consoled her husband. "Remember that I've got an extra pair of pants for that suit."

"Yes, and it's lucky you have," said the woman, drying her eyes.

"I used them to patch the hole."


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I boarded the train and took my seat. The seat next to me was empty, but not for long.

A young mother boarded with her 5-year-old daughter and Mom sat down in the seat beside me.

I offered my seat to the little girl but Mom said no, she'd sit the young one on her lap.

So here I am holding my roses, now with a little lady straining to see what I was holding.

"What ya got, mister?" she asked.

(Mom is getting a bit flustered and tells her to mind her business.)

I leaned the "package" over a bit and she looks and says loudly, "Ohhhh, ROSES!, who are they for?"

(Now, Mom is embarrassed and tapping her on the rear telling her to sit down.)

I said, "they're for my girlfriend".

She says again with a loud voice, "WOW, pretty RED ones, and a lot of them, too! Man, you really must have messed up!"

Needless to say, nearly everyone on the train was in stitches, except Mom who was now trying to crawl between the seats!