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Sunday, February 14, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

An American and an English officer were in the Officers' Mess having a few drinks.

After several of them, they hit on the idea to make the following (gentleman's) bet: The one who
could tell the biggest lie would win.

They drew straws, and the American officer got to start:

"Well," he says, "there once was an American gentleman--"

"Stop!" cried the Englishman, "You win!"


An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand while pulling a buffalo with the other.  He says to the waiter:  

l   Want coffee.

The waiter says,  "Sure, Chief, coming right up." 

He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.  The Indian drinks the coffee down, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just walks out. 

The next morning the Indian returns.  He has his shotgun in one hand and is pulling another buffalo with the other.  He says to the waiter:   

 "Want coffee."    

The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto!"  "We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday.  What was all that about, anyway?"   

The Indian smiles and proudly says, 

"Training for position in US Congress.  Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day." 

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