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Friday, February 12, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

Passengers aboard a luxurious cruise ship were having a great time when a beautiful young woman fell overboard. Immediately there was an 80-year-old man in the water who rescued her.

The crew pulled them both out of the treacherous waters. The captain was grateful as well as astonished that the white-haired old man performed such an act of bravery. That night a banquet was given in honor of the ship's elderly hero. He was called forward to receive an award and was asked to say a few words.

He said, "First of all, I'd like to know who pushed me."


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Selma and Sara, two elderly ladies are walking down the beach in Miami.

Selma whispers to Sara

"Sara I must tell you something. I'm having an affair"

Sara replies

"Really? So who's the caterer"


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My wife and I were browsing in a crafts store when I noticed a display of country-style musical instruments.

After looking over the flutes, dulcimers and recorders, I picked up a shiny, one-stringed instrument I took to be a mouth harp.

I put it to my lips and, much to the amusement of other shoppers, twanged a few notes on it.

After watching from a distance, my wife came up and whispered in my ear, "I hate to tell you this, honey, but you're trying to play a cheese slicer."

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