Jokes

1. A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde."
The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.
The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"


2. Three accountants were standing at the urinals.

The first accountant finished and walked over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeded to dry his hands very carefully. He used paper towel and ensured that every single spot of water on his hands was dried. Turning to the other two bankers, he said, "At Price Waterhouse Coopers", we are trained to be extremely thorough."

The second accountant finished his task at the urinal and he proceeded to wash his hands. He used a single paper towel and made sure that he dried his hands
using every available portion of the paper towel. He turned and said, at "E&Y", not only are we trained to be extremely thorough, but we are also trained to be
extremely efficient."

The third accountant finished and walked straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder, "At Shah & Patel, we don't pee on our hands."