Jokes

1. A man, his wife, and mother-in-law went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker told them, "You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150."

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"

The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."


2. A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for 2 weeks but nothing happened.

Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God USA, they decided to send it to the President.

The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5 bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5 and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:

Dear God,
Thank you very much for sending the money; however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, D.C. and, as usual, those jerks deducted $95.00


2. A church was preparing for Christmas services. The pastor decided he wanted a banner made for the entryway and had a parishioner call the sign company.

The parishioner told the man on the phone the message he wanted and the dimensions needed for the entryway.

The sign came back a few days later... "Unto Mary Jesus was born, six feet long and two feet wide."