Mafia leader seeks sleazy woman who can dodge bullets, meet in rat-infested motels, and speak Russian. Must be able to keep a secret.
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Mormon male looking for one or more females for a long-term relationship. Must have childbearing hips and be willing to give birth to at least four children. Catholics need not apply.
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Single, unemployed female with several children out of wedlock is looking for a sugar daddy to support my children and me. Skills include nose-wiping and diaper-changing. Ear plugs included. No experience
necessary.
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Petite mountaineeress seeks tall female for climbing. If you're under 6 feet tall, averse to ropes, or wary of long expeditions, don't apply.
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Single, white, affluent male starting a savage cult; orders submissive, obedient followers to worship and praise my every move. No shirt, no shoes, no service.
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Ready? OK! Collegiate cheerleader looking for quarterback to bring his helmet, pads, and offensive line to bed. First and ten! Do it again!
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Tall Hispanic lesbian looking for a vertically challenged person to spend evenings clipping my toenails and picking them out of the carpet.
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Do you have six toes or another pedal anomaly? If so, I want you! Other deformities-
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Greedy, money-hungry, single white female looking for obscenely rich older man (preferably on his death bed) to spend time and money with. Would like to wiggle my way into the will and be the sole beneficiary. Call before time runs out.
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Mama's boy, dependent on parents for income, is looking for a female who is family-oriented and wouldn't mind having my mom chaperone. No dog lovers please.
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Charlie B. ISO Lucy. Me: self-esteem issues and bad sweaters. You: rapier wit and a complete disregard for my ego. Big head optional.
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Playmate wanted. SWM with large stuffed animal collection ISO female furvert for meaningful relationship with me and my plush toys.
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Albino male seeking dark-skinned woman who will take me to movies and hand-feed me popcorn. Must love to stay inside with the blinds closed to keep out sunlight, and dread mornings.
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Alcoholic female craves man to keep her knee-deep in liquor. Your own still a plus.
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Gay sunless tanning addict seeks dark and crispy partner to share tanning bed. Bring your own goggles and we'll order in!
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Obedient male seeks female dog-lover for long walks, playing fetch, and cuddling on the couch. You bring the spiky collar; I've got the kibble.
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Middle-aged heir seeks suitable female for companionship, possible LTR. Family approval required unless mother takes her final bow before we meet.
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Male bwana hunts big-game guy. You bring the fur coat; I'll bring the rifle. No animal-rights activists or vegetarians
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