Funny: Some jokes

At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.

At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:-
John, Joanna, you've become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

 When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask.... 
Stupid Question:-
Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-
No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.

When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:-
Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:-

No.. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.

When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair....
Stupid Question:-
Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-
No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..

At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:-
Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-
No it wont. It will just bleed.

You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:-
Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:-
Gosh, it's a miracle ........it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!