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Friday, January 30, 2015

Funny: Some jokes

Every day, Mr. Koch has to cross the river by ferry in order to get to work.

Waking up late one morning, he dressed quickly, ran out the door and raced to the dock. The boat was several yards away, and stepping back and taking a mighty leap, Mr. Koch landed with a crash on the deck.

"Made it!" he cried triumphantly.

"So?" said one of the passengers, "What was the rush? The boat is coming in."


DOWN in redneck country, Bubba attends a church revival meeting and joins in the singing, clapping and dancing with great enthusiasm. The preacher raises his arms in the air and calls for people in the congregation to come forward if they are in need of a special prayer. "Don't be shy, come forward and all the brothers and sisters will pray for you. The power of our love can move mountains." A queue forms and the preacher begins the laying-on of hands and loud exhortations. Bubba waits patiently and when it's finally his turn, the preacher says: "Welcome my son, the Lord is with you. What would you like me to pray about for you?" Bubba replies: "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing." The preacher puts one finger in Bubba's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Bubba's head and prays long and loud. The congregation shouts its approval. After a few minutes the preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks: "Bubba how is your hearing now?" Bubba says: "I don't know, preacher, it ain't until next Thursday."


A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.

"Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.

"You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman.

"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."

The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch! That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", she cried.

The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger." 

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