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Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Funny: Some jokes

"Open wider," requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient.

"Good grief!" he said startled. "You've got the biggest cavity I've ever seen -- the biggest cavity I've ever seen."

"OK Doc!" replied the patient. "I'm scared enough without you saying something like that twice."

"I didn't!" said the dentist.

"That was the echo."


"No need for me to come out to the house," the doctor told the worried caller. "I've checked my files and your uncle isn't really ill at all - he just thinks he's sick."

A week later, the doctor telephoned to make sure his diagnosis had been correct.

"How's your uncle today?" he asked.

"Worse," came the reply. "Now he thinks he's dead."


You know it's going to be a bad day when;

You call your wife and tell her that you would like to eat out tonight and when you get home there is a sandwich on the front porch.


The new inmate at the mental hospital announced in a loud voice that he was the famous British naval hero, Lord Nelson. This was particularly interesting, because the institution already had a "Lord Nelson."

The head psychiatrist, after due consideration, decided to put the two men in the same room, feeling that the similarity of their delusions might prompt an adjustment in each that would help in curing them. It
was a calculated risk, of course, for the two men might react violently to one another, but they were introduced and then left alone and no disturbance was heard from the room that night.

The next morning, the doctor had a talk with his new patient and was more than pleasantly surprised when he was told "Doctor, I've been suffering from a delusion. I know now for a fact that I am not Lord Nelson."

"That's wonderful," said the doctor. "Who are you?"

Smiling coyly, the patient replied, "I'm Lady Nelson."

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