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Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Funny: The casanova

Pete was the playboy of the office. He kept the cubicle set bug-eyed with juicy tales of his conquests. One afternoon a bachelor in the office cornered him and asked, "Pete, how the hell do you do it? You're a married man, but you make Casanova look like a two-bit amateur. Come on, buddy, what's your secret?"

Pete was in a conversational mood. "I wouldn't do this for everybody, Eddie," he said, "but you're a friend, so I'll tell you my secret. Like all great plans, it's really very simple. It's all in the approach! Tonight, take the 5:21 out of Penn Station and get off at Great Neck. You'll find dozens of women there waiting for their husbands. Now there are always some husbands who have to work late. So all you have to do is be charming and let nature take its course."

The system was indeed simple, and also seemed foolproof. Eddie boarded the 5:21 that night with Pete's instructions fixed firmly in his mind. But he dozed en route and didn't waken till Plandome, two stops after Great Neck. He got off the train in a hurry and was about to catch a cab back to his destination when he noticed an unescorted female standing on the platform looking very available.

He sauntered over casually, lit her cigarette, and asked whether she'd like to have a nice quiet drink with him. "I'd love to," she said, "but let's go to my place. It's near here and it's very, very quiet."

Everything went as planned. They had a small dinner at her place, some drinks, then they retired to the pleasures of the bedroom. They'd been enjoying themselves only a few minutes, however, when the door swung open and the woman's husband entered.

"Goddammit, Betty!" he cried. "What the hell's going on here? So this is what you do when my back is turned... And as for you, you bastard - I thought I told you to get off at Great Neck!"

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