Funny: Some jokes

Hollow out a melon.

Make a small hole in the side.

Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon it into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.

If you have done all this and are still in control of yourself, you are now ready to feed a baby.

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I volunteered recently to perform a parachute jump for charity. On our first day of training, the instructor made an important point about preparing for landing at 300 feet.

"How do you know when you're at 300 feet?" asked one woman.

"A good question," replied the instructor. "At 300 feet you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."

The woman thought about this for awhile before saying, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"

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Couples who have lived together a long time have their own way of communicating. A woman overheard her aunt and uncle one day: "What are you looking for in that closet?" she asked.

"Nothing," he answered.

"Well, it's not in there. Look under the bed."