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Saturday, January 31, 2015

Funny: Some jokes

A plumber was called to a woman's apartment in New York to repair a leaking pipe.

When he arrived he was pleased to discover that the woman was quite a luscious, well-stacked babe, and during the course of the afternoon the two became extremely friendly.

About 4:30 p.m. the phone rang, disturbing their bedroom shenanigans.

"That was my husband," she said, "He's on his way home, but he's going back to the office around 8.

Come back then, dear, and we can take up where we left off."

The union plumber looked at the woman in disbelief. "What? On my own time??"


A rabbit and a snake were both injured in a California earthquake.

The impact caused both to become blind and to lose their memories.

In an attempt to find out who they each were, they decided to feel each other.

First, the snake felt the rabbit.

"Well, you are fuzzy and warm. You have a round cottony tail and two long ears."

"Hooray!" exclaimed the rabbit, "I must be a bunny."

Next the blind rabbit felt the snake.

He was thoughtful for a moment. "Let's see--you are long, cold and slimy and you have a little forked tongue."

The snake wailed, "Oh no! I must be a politician."


A man came into a shop with a 'Salesman Wanted' sign in a window.

He went up to the owner and said, "I-I-I w-w-waannn-t the j-joooob-b."

"I don't know if this job would suit you because of your speaking impediment," said the owner.

"I h-h-havvve a w-wi-wiiiife and s-s-s-six k-kkkids, iiii-I re-really neeeed thi-thi-this j-j-job!" said the man.

"O.K. Here are three Bibles. Go out and sell them." Said the owner.

So the man went out and came back an hour later.

"H-here-sss your m-m-money." said the man.

The owner was impressed, so he gave the man a dozen more Bibles and sent him out.

The man came back in two hours and said, "Her-ers y-yooour m-m-money."

The owner said, "This is fantastic. You sold more Bibles in three hours than anyone has sold in a week. Tell me, what do you say to the people when they come to the door?"

"W-welllll," said the man, "I r-r-ring the d-door bell, a-a-and s-s-say 'H-Hel-Hello, M-m-maaaaddam, d-d-do you w-w-want t-t t-to buy thi-thi-this B-B-Bible, oooor d-d-do y-you w-w-want m'me t-toooo read
it t-t-t-t-to you?"

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