Jokes

1. This man, his wife and their Border Collie, Maisy were out for a drive in the country one afternoon in their new convertible, with the top down. The husband and wife were enjoying the scenery as they drove along.
While unbeknownst to them, Maisy gave birth to seven puppies while laying on the back seat of the automobile. The couple continued to drive along, unaware of the new arrivals.
Soon the road began to deteriorate and was beginning to become quite rough. Suddenly, the car ran over a deep pothole in the road, and one of Maisy's puppies bounced up and out of the car, landing on the roadway just in front of a police car that had been following the man and his wife.
The police officer switched on his lights and siren, and soon had the couple pulled over to the side of the road. "What are you pulling me over for?" Queried the startled driver. The officer responded, "I pulled you over for creating a "Road
Hazard, for other drivers!"
"What hazard?" Asked the man. "A puppy bounced out of your car and put myself, and several other drivers at risk, trying to avoid hitting it. Now your Drivers License
and Proof of Insurance please. Thank you Sir... And the 'Bitches' name, Sir. ..."
"Hey! How dare you call my wife a bitch!"
"Sir, I was referring to the dog!.. "
"Oh... Her name is Maisy.
What do you want her name for, officer?"
"Well Sir, after I write your ticket for "Endangering Vehicular Traffic", I am going to cite your dog, Maisy, for Littering!"



2. A store manager overheard a clerk saying to a customer, "No, ma'am, we haven't had any for some weeks now, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting any soon."
Alarmed, the manager rushed over to the customer who was walking out the door and said, "That isn't true, ma'am. Of course, we'll have some soon. In fact, we placed an order for it a couple of weeks ago."
The manager then drew the clerk aside and growled, "Never, never, never, never say we don't have something. If we don't have it, say we ordered it and it's on its way.
"Now, what was it she wanted?"
The clerk answered, "Snow."