Recipe: PANEER MASOOR PARATHA

Paratha envelopes filled with lentils and cottage cheese.

Cooking Time : 45 mins.
Preparation Time : 15 mins.
Makes 4 parathas.

For the dough:

1/2 cup whole wheat flour (gehun ka atta)
1 tablespoon oil
salt to taste

For the filling:

1/2 cup paneer (cottage cheese), crumbled
2 tablespoons whole masoor (whole red lentils), cooked
1 onion, chopped
1 teaspoon grated ginger
1/2 teaspoon chilli powder
1/2 teaspoon turmeric powder (haldi)
1 teaspoon coriander powder
2 tablespoons chopped coriander
1 tablespoon oil
salt to taste

Other Ingredients:

oil for cooking

For the dough:

1. Combine all the ingredients and knead into a soft dough using enough water.
2. Cover with a wet cloth and keep aside for 10 to 15 minutes.

For the filling:

1. Heat the oil and saute the onion till it turns translucent.
2. Add the paneer, masoor, ginger, chilli powder, turmeric powder, coriander powder, coriander and salt and mix well.
3. Cool, divide into 4 parts and keep aside.

How to proceed:

1. Divide the dough into 4 equal parts and roll out each portion very thinly into circiles of 250 mm. (10") diameter.
2. Put one portion of the stuffing in the centre of each paratha and fold all the sides in such a way so as to form a rectangle.
3. Make a paste using a little flour and water and use this to seal the edges of the paratha.
4. Place the paratha on a tava (griddle) with the open edge at the bottom. Cook for a few minutes, turn over on the other side and cook again till crispy, using a little oil.
5. Repeat for the remaining dough and filling to make 3 more parathas.
6. Serve hot with curds.

TEN THINGS A CAT THINKS ABOUT

1. I could have sworn I heard the can opener.

2. Is there something I'm not getting when humans
make noise with their mouths?

3. Why doesn't the government do something about
dogs?

4. I wonder if Morris really liked 9-Lives, or did
he have ulterior motives?

5. Hmmm ... If dogs serve humans, and humans
serve cats, why can't we cats ever get these stupid dogs to
do anything for us?

6. This looks like a good spot for a nap.

7. Hey -- no kidding, I'm sure that's the can opener.

8. Would humans have built a vast and complex civilization of
their own if we cats hadn't given them a reason to invent sofas
and can openers in the first place?

9. If there's a God, how can He allow neutering?

10. If that really was the can opener, I'll play finicky
just to let them know who's boss!

Humour: All about health

It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one
minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an
additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost
a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I don't jog; it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

I used to watch golf on TV, but my doctor told me that I need more
exercise; so now I watch tennis.

If exercise and work pay off in the future, shouldn't laziness pay off now?

A daily exercise regime never killed anyone, but why chance it?

Isn't having good health merely the slowest possible way you can die?

The act of banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 80.
She's 97 now and we don't know where the heck she is.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy
breathing again.

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out
what I'm doing.

I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would
have put them further up on our body.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

Ten Rules of Housekeeping

1. Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.

2. Dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed. Rename the area under the couch "The Galapagos Islands" and claim an ecological exemption.

3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5 and leave it alone.

4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"

5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger,
thereby reducing your vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say this.

6. Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by claiming you are collecting it there to use for stuffing handsewn play animals for underprivileged children.

7. If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one room and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle the door knob
vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our Den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive."

8. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that "THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes..."

9. Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, "Junior did this the week before that unspeakable accident... I haven't had the heart to clean it..."

10. Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household cleaner with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave dampened rags in conspicuous locations.
Develop an exhausted look, throw yourself onto the couch, and sigh, "I clean and I clean and I still don't get anywhere..."

Humour: Keywords and their meanings.

1. FINE

This is the word a woman uses at the end of any argument that she feels she is right about but needs to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

2. FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football/ruby or whatever game is going to last before you take out the trash, so she feels that it's an even trade.

3. NOTHING

This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

4. GO AHEAD (with Raised Eyebrows)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and eventually cause an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

5. GO AHEAD (without raised eyebrows)

This means "I give up. Do what you want because I don't care." You will, however, get a Raised Eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing", and a "Five Minute" argument ending with "Fine".

6. LOUD SIGH

Not actually a word of course but often a verbal cue misunderstood by men. The "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you're an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there having a "Five Minute" argument with you over "Nothing".

7. SOFT SIGH

One of the few sounds that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe. Just stay clear.

Peeves That Dogs Have About Humans

• Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not funny at all!!!

• Yelling at me for barking. I'm a dog, you idiot!

• Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

• Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... Stop It!

• Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

• The slight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

• Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!

• Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

• Dog sweaters. Hello??? Haven't you noticed the fur?

Now lay off me on some of these things; we both know who's boss here! You don't see me picking up *your* poop do you?

Humour: Visit India and Q & A

The answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have an excellent sense of humour.

Q : Will I be able to see elephants in the street in India? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa- can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand kms, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in India? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in India? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi, Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India?
(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean which does not.. oh forget it. ...... Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Goa. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in India? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can you send me the Indiana Pacers matches schedule? (France)
A: Indiana is a state in the Unites States of...oh forget it. Sure, the Indiana Pacers matches are played every Tuesday night in Goa, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in India? ( UK )
A: You're a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Bangalore, and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.

Q: Do you have perfume in India? ( France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in India? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in India? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first

Q: Can I see Taj Mahal anytime? (Italy)
A: As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime.

Q: Do you have Toilet paper? (USA)
A: No, we use sand paper. (we have different grades)

Ten Signs That Your Life Is About To Change

11. While watching the news, you spot your spouse marching in a Gay
Pride parade.

10. The bank notifies you that your paycheck has bounced.

9. On a densely foggy morning, while driving in the center lane of
a highway, you suddenly run out of gas.

8. You arrive at your wedding to find, two ushers, four
bridesmaids, and six pallbearers.

7. You ask your doctor for a physical and he replies, "I'm sorry, I
dont do autopsies."

6. The IRS invites you to a weenie-roast and the invitation begins
with "Dear Weenie...".

5. While surfing the internet, you suddenly get the following
diaglogue box: "ICBM launch successful. Confirm strike? (Y/N)".

4. You receive an invitation from the Oval Office to "chew the fat".

3. You hear that your dentist has been arrested for using
radioactive material as tooth-filling.

2. At the vacant house next door, you notice a U-haul van and a
truck which looks very similar to the one on the Beverly Hillbillies.

1. Your twelve-year-old daughter suddenly develops a craving for
pickles and ice cream.

Joke: Lazines

A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time and she shows him
into the living room.

She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to make them a few drinks.

As he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantel.

He picks it up and as he's looking at it, she walks back in.

He says, "What's this?"

She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there."

He turns beat red in horror and goes, "Geez, oh..I..."

She says, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray."

Joke: Ask her to cook

A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. He asked her about what he should do next.

His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal?"

He thought this was a great strategy and arranged a date for a week later.

His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone.

"Oh, Mom, the evening was a disaster," he moaned.

"Why? Didn't she come over?" asked his mother.

"Oh, she came over all right, but she refused to cook."

Staying in California

It's time to reevaluate our involvement!

Every day there are news reports about more deaths. Every night on TV there are photos of death and destruction.

Why are we still there?

We occupied this land, which we had to take by force, but it causes us nothing but trouble.

Why are we still there?

Many of our children go there and never come back.

Why are we still there?

Their government is unstable, and they have loopy leadership.

Why are we still there?

Many of their people are uncivilized.

Why are we still there?

The place is subject to natural disasters, which we are supposed to bail them out of.

Why are we still there?

There are more than 1,000 religious sects, which we do not understand.

Why are we still there?

Their folkways, foods and fads are unfamiliar to ordinary Americans.

Why are we still there?

We can't even secure the borders.

Why are we still there?

They are billions of dollars in debt, and it will cost billions more to rebuild, which we can't afford.

Why are we still there?

It is becoming very clear... WE MUST PULL OUT OF CALIFORNIA!

VisualPin - Geocode your videos

What is this you ask? Quite simply, VisualPin lets you geocode any video from start to finish - literally! What does that mean you now ask? If you have a video of say, a 4WD trip or a train ride and you want to show people where the video is showing as it plays, you can simply add a location to a map for each second of the video (or at any time during the playing of the video).
VisualPin works by allowing you to add a map location at any time while the video is playing. Once this is done, you get a link that you can send to anyone you wish to view your video with moving maps. You can also get options to embed your new video with maps into your own website or simply keep it so only you can see it. By the way, we never store your videos - you just upload to one of your existing video portals (currently we support YouTube by stand by for more soon) or your own website. Oh, it must be an FLV video file.

Available at this location: Link

Recipe: Cream of Mushroom Soup

Yield: 4 to 5 servings

¼ C sweet butter
¼ C onion (chopped)
½ C mushroom pieces
1 T all purpose flour
2 C Chicken Stock (posted earlier)
½ C milk
Salt & pepper to taste

Melt butter in soup pot. Add onion and mushrooms. Cook until tender.
Blend flour with part of the Chicken Stock in screw top jar until
smooth. Add to remaining stock; stir to blend. Pour into soup pot;
heat soup, stirring frequently, until it reaches boiling point.
Remove from heat. Stir in milk, and salt and pepper to taste. Reheat
before serving.

Recipe: Cream of Celery Soup

Yield: 1 quart

2 C Chicken Stock (post later)
1 C celery (chopped)
2 T onion (chopped)
1 t parsley (chopped)
2 C milk (cold)
2 T all purpose flour
2 T sweet butter
Salt & pepper to taste

Pour Chicken Stock into soup kettle. Add celery, onion, and parsley;
bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer 10 minutes. Combine milk and
flour in screw top jar; shake thoroughly to mix. Gradually pour milk
into stock. Cook to desired thickness. Stir in butter, and salt and
pepper to taste. Serve hot or cool to use in casseroles.

Recipe: Beef Vegetable Soup

Yield: 6 to 8 servings

2 lbs. chuck roast
2 quart hot water
1 C onions (diced)
1 T salt
2 bay leaves
1 C carrots (sliced0
1 C potatoes (diced)
½ C celery (sliced)

Remove meat from bone; cut into small pieces. Add meat and bone to
hot water. Bring to boil. Reduce heat and add onions, salt, and bay
leaves. Simmer 1 hour. Remove bay leaves. Add remaining ingredients.
Simmer 30 minutes. Remove bone before serving.

Recipe: Noodles & Ground Beef Soup

Yield: 1-½ quarts

1 lb. beef (ground)
1 quart water
1 C celery (chopped)
½ C onions (chopped)
1 T parsley (chopped)
1-½ C noodles (cooked)
Salt & pepper to taste

Combine beef, water, celery, onions, and parsley in soup kettle.
Bring to boil; reduce heat and simmer 30 minutes. Add noodles. Add
salt and pepper to taste.

Microwave: Combine as above. Cook on high for 5 minutes; reduce to
low and cook for 5 minutes. Add noodles. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Recipe: Corn & Cheese Chowder

Yield: 3 cups

1 pork chop (bite-size pieces)
1 T pure vegetable oil
½ C celery (chopped)
¼ C onion
2 C milk (cold)
2 C corn
1 C potatoes (cooked & diced)
¼ t paprika
½ t thyme
2 T all purpose flour
1 C white Cheddar cheese (shredded)
Salt & pepper to taste

Sauté pork in vegetable oil until brown. Add celery and onion; sauté
5 minutes. Pour into soup kettle. Add 1 cup of the milk, the corn,
potatoes, paprika, and thyme. Heat until warm. DO NOT BOIL. Combine
remaining 1 cup milk with flour in screw top jar. Shake until
thoroughly blended. Gradually add to corn mixture. Add cheese. Cover
over low heat until cheese is melted and soup is desired thickness.
Add salt and pepper to taste.

YOU KNOW IT'S A NO-FRILLS AIRLINE WHEN...

. They don't sell tickets, they sell chances.

. All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.

. Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.

. If you kiss the wing for luck before boarding, it kisses you back.

. You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.

. Before you take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.

. The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.

. When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.

. The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.

. You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he replies, "Just once."

. No movie. Don't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.

. You see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let off the plane.

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF SUCCESS

1. Speak to people; there is nothing as nice as cheerful greetings

2. Smile it takes 72 muscles to frown 14 to smile

3. Call people by name everyone is pleased when you remember the name

4. Be friendly and helpful others will respond in like manner

5. Speck and act; as if everything you do were a genuine pleasure

6. Be genuinely interested in people

7. Be generous in the praise cautious with criticism

8. Be considerate with feeling of others it will be appreciated

9. Be thoughtful of opinions of others

10. Be willing to give service

Humour: Stress Management

Picture yourself very near a stream.

Birds are softly chirping in the crisp, cool mountain air.

Nothing can bother you here.

No one knows this secret place.

You are in total seclusion from that place called 'the world.'

The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of
serenity.

The water is clear.

You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you are holding
under the water. There, now, don't you feel better

Humour: The Stressed.....

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage and
strength to change the things I can, And the wisdom to hide the bodies of
those people I had to kill because they just had to go and push me too
damned far!

And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be
connected to the ass I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to always give 100% at work ... 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40%
on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Fridays.

And help me to remember... When I'm having a really bad day and it seems
that people are trying to piss me off, That it takes 42 muscles to frown,
And only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to BITE ME!!