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Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Humour: All about health

It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one
minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an
additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost
a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I don't jog; it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

I used to watch golf on TV, but my doctor told me that I need more
exercise; so now I watch tennis.

If exercise and work pay off in the future, shouldn't laziness pay off now?

A daily exercise regime never killed anyone, but why chance it?

Isn't having good health merely the slowest possible way you can die?

The act of banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 80.
She's 97 now and we don't know where the heck she is.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy
breathing again.

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out
what I'm doing.

I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would
have put them further up on our body.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

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