YOU KNOW IT'S A NO-FRILLS AIRLINE WHEN...

. They don't sell tickets, they sell chances.

. All the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out.

. Before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot.

. If you kiss the wing for luck before boarding, it kisses you back.

. You cannot board the plane unless you have the exact change.

. Before you take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.

. The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little for gas.

. When they pull the steps away, the plane starts rocking.

. The Captain yells at the ground crew to get the cows off the runway.

. You ask the Captain how often their planes crash and he replies, "Just once."

. No movie. Don't need one. Your life keeps flashing before your eyes.

. You see a man with a gun, but he's demanding to be let off the plane.