Humour: Keywords and their meanings.

1. FINE

This is the word a woman uses at the end of any argument that she feels she is right about but needs to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

2. FIVE MINUTES

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football/ruby or whatever game is going to last before you take out the trash, so she feels that it's an even trade.

3. NOTHING

This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

4. GO AHEAD (with Raised Eyebrows)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and eventually cause an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

5. GO AHEAD (without raised eyebrows)

This means "I give up. Do what you want because I don't care." You will, however, get a Raised Eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing", and a "Five Minute" argument ending with "Fine".

6. LOUD SIGH

Not actually a word of course but often a verbal cue misunderstood by men. The "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you're an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there having a "Five Minute" argument with you over "Nothing".

7. SOFT SIGH

One of the few sounds that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe. Just stay clear.