Ways to say someone is stupid

His men would follow him anywhere - just out of curiosity.

I feel bad about having a battle of the wits with an unarmed person.

If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

If he/she had another brain, it would be lonely.

If you want to have a battle of wits, I'll take out my brain too and
we can start even.

In the pinball game of life, his/her flippers are a little too far apart.

Is out of his depth in a car-park puddle.

Is overdrawn at the memory bank.

Isn't paid to be smart, and so far they got their money's worth.

Isn't the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.

Intelligence of a Carrot.

Learned to count in Florida.

Lights are on, but nobody is home.

Makes a house brick look clever.

Mind, is slower than molasses on winter's day.

Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

Must be twins - no one person can be that dumb/stupid.

Nice kid, but sharp as a grapefruit.

Not cooking with all four burners.

Not got both chopsticks in the rice.

Not playing with a full deck.

Not the brightest crayon in the box.

Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

Not wired to code.

On a windy day you can see the leaves blow through his head.

One brick short of a load.

One crayon short of a box of 89.

Photographic memory, but the lens cover is on.

Proof that evolution can go in reverse.

Receiver is off the hook.

Sewing machine's out of thread.

Slinky's kinked.

Stayed on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long.

Strong like a bull ..... smart like a tractor.

Surfing in Nebraska.

Smart as bait.

Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.

Standing close to her, you can hear the ocean.

Too much yardage between the goal posts.

The butter has slipped off his pancake.

The cheese slid off his cracker a long time ago.

The interior decorator is on ,1) strike 2) vacation 3) Maternity
leave to find a replacement.

The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.

Thinks Santa Monica comes once a year.

Three beers short of a six-pack.

Toys in the attic

There's no grain in the silo.

When he/she turned 40 his/her age and his/her IQ matched.

Would lose to fishing bait in a thinkin' contest.