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Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Humour: Idiots, they are out there, beware!

Idiot Number One

I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she
caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the
ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into
the hospital.

She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that
she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.

I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room right

Here's your Idiot Sign, lady. Wear it with pride.

Idiot Number Two

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a
life raft from one of the 747's. They were successful in getting it out of
the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river,
they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them.

It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locater beacon
that activated when the raft was inflated.

They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Here's your Idiot Sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.

Idiot Number Three

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and
wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting
to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him
write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's
window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells
Fargo Bank.

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo
teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't
the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his
stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and
that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back
to Bank of America.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was arrested a
few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's Idiot Sign. He probably couldn't read it

Idiot Number Four
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured
his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the
mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent
the police department a photograph of $40.

Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained
another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

Wise guy..

But you still get a Idiot Sign

Idiot Number Five
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of
the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the
robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the
shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.'

The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's
license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over
and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the
bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.

The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the
robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours

This guy definitely needs a Idiot Sign.

Idiot Number Six

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!'

When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't even deserve a Idiot Sign.

Idiot Number Seven

Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that
he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some
booze, and run.

So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window.

The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor
store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on

Yep, here's your Idiot Sign.

Idiot Number Eight

I live in a semi-rural area. (Weyauwega, Wisconsin). We recently had a new
neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the
removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.

The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't think
this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

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