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Tuesday, November 4, 2008


* Black holes are where God divided by zero.

* All those who believe in psychogenesis raise my hand.

* Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

* I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

* OK, so what's the speed of dark?

* How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

* Support bacteria -- they're the only culture some people have.

* Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

* Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

* Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

* Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

* Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

* I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.

* Join the Army, meet interesting people and kill them.

* If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

* Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

* If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.

* 24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence?

* When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

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