Quickies

I wanted a haircut and phoned a salon early for an appointment but was told customers were taken on a walk-in basis only.

On Saturday I got there by 9 a.m and there were already ten people waiting. I drove to another salon, but it was booked solid. Still another had no openings. The situation seemed hopeless, so I went home.

My husband greeted me at the door. "That was fast," he said cheerfully. "Your hair looks great!"

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The cell phone people say there's absolutely no danger from cell phone transmissions.

Boy! It didn't take those tobacco executives long to find new jobs, did it?

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I used to think I was poor. Then they told me I wasn't poor - I was needy.

Then they told me it was self-defeating to think of myself as needy - I was deprived.

Then they told me that underprivileged was overused - I was disadvantaged.

I still don't have a dime, but I have a great vocabulary!

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Teacher: If you had $1.00 and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?

Little Johnny: "I would have $1.00."

Teacher: "You don't know your arithmetic!"

Little Johnny: "You don't know my father!"