News about poop

Imagine a site where you get all your questions about shit answered. You would never have believed that there would be a site that specializes in talking about poop, but you have it, here is this site, very appropriately named (link). As the site says, you have all these here:
Stories about poop.
Essays about poop.
Consumer reports about poop.
Comics about poop.
In addition, you can subscribe to Poop News.

Directions on how to use Google Maps

Here are 2 great videos on how to use Google Maps:

Getting directions



Google Maps Street View

Recipe: MEXICAN BREAD ROLLS

Crisp bread slices stuffed with a cheesy corn and capsicum mixture.

Cooking Time : 9 minutes.
Preparation Time : 5 minutes.

Serves 4.

Ingredients:

8 bread slices, a day old

For the filling:
4 tablespoons corn kernels, boiled
1 capsicum, chopped
2 tablespoons plain flour (maida)
1 cup milk
1/4 cup grated cheese
2 tablespoons butter
salt to taste

Other ingredients:
oil for deep frying

Method:
1. For the filling
2. Heat the butter in a saucepan.
3. Add the flour and stir continuously till you get the smell of cooked flour, taking care to see that the flour does not discolour.
4. Add the milk and whisk well to get a smooth, thick sauce.
5. Add the corn, capsicum, cheese and salt and mix well. Keep aside.

How to proceed:
1. Remove the crusts of the bread slices.
2. Dip each slice in water and squeeze out the water by pressing each slice between the palms of your hands.
3. Put a spoonful of the filling on one slice.
4. Roll it into a cylindrical shape and seal the sides. Keeep aside.
5. Repeat with the remaining bread slices and filling.
6. Heat the oil in a kadhai and deep fry the bread rolls till golden brown. Drain on absorbent paper.
7. Serve hot.

Tips:
The filling should be very thick and not runny for this recipe.

Two Blonde Cowpokes!

Back in the old Wild West, there were two blonde cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sarsaparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian's head under his arm.
The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Indians; last week they burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children." He then says, "If any man brings me the head of an Indian, I'll give him one thousand dollars."
The two blondes looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the Indian right on the head. The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine.
The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Dave pulled out a knife to claim their trophy. Suddenly, Jeff said, "Dave, take a look at this." Dave replied, "Not now, I'm busy."
Jeff tugged him on the shoulder and says, "I really think you should look at this."
Dave said, "Look, you can see I'm busy. There's a thousand dollars in my hand."
But Jeff was adamant. "Please, Dave, take a look at this." So Dave looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine were five thousand red Indians.
Dave just shook his head and said, "Oh... my... Gosh... we're going to be millionaires!"

Blonde Selling a Car...

A blonde was having a hard time selling her car because the odometer showed
more than 230,000 miles. One day, her dark-haired friend gave her some
advice.

"There's a way to make the car easier to sell," said the brunette, "but it's
not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied the frustrated blonde. "I just want to get
rid of the stupid thing!"

"Okay," said the brunette. "Take the car to this address. It's a friend of
mine who owns a repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he'll 'fix' it. You
shouldn't have a problem selling it after that."

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About a
month later, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you ever sell your car?"

"Heck no," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on
it!"

Inspecting the chinaware

When visiting her family in Los Angeles, a woman decided to explore a
trendy shopping area.

After window-shopping, she entered a store with unique table displays.

Each table was laid out with distinctive linen, fine china, silver
and crystal. The woman was the only customer.

The young cashier initially asked if she could help, but the woman
declined and said she was only browsing.

The woman was a bit put off by the glances the cashier kept giving
her, but nonetheless, she spent almost an hour examining the
different makes of china and silver.

It was only after thanking the shopkeeper and leaving that this woman
discovered she had been inspecting the tableware at a chic restaurant.

Farting the guts out

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.
The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Christmas morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts.
A malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the
elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting, which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom.
The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."

Milk for my son

A woman at our interactive advertising agency had recently returned
from her maternity leave when she sent the following e-mail:

"Whoever used the milk in the small plastic container that was in the
refrigerator yesterday, please do NOT own up to it.

I would find it forever after difficult to meet your gaze across a
cafeteria table whilst having a discussion about java applets or
brand identity.

Just be aware that that milk was EXPRESSLY for my son if you get my drift.

I will label these things from now on, but if you found your coffee
tasted just a little bit unusual this morning, you might think about
calling your mom and telling her you love her."

Dictionary for women

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..."

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card

Just painting the corridor

A beautiful young girl was about to undergo a minor operation. She lay on a rolling bed and the nurse brought her into the corridor. Before entering the room, the nurse left her behind the surgery room door to go in and check if everything was ready.

A young man wearing a white coat approached, took the sheet away and began examining her naked body. He walked away and talked to another man in a white coat.

The second man came over and did the same examination.

When a third man started examining her body very closely, she grew impatient and asked, "These examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation?"

The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders and told her, "I have no idea. We're just painting the corridor."

The incredible rat

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.

After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.

While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange
for the money.

"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist.

PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

4. People call at 9 PM and ask, Did I wake you????

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat supper at 4 PM.

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the
room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather
service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them
either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember who sent you this list .

And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

A Complete Stop

A police officer pulled over a red Corvette after it had run a stop sign.

"May I see your driver's license and registration please?"

"What's the problem, officer?"

"You just ran the stop sign back there at the last intersection."

"Oh, come on pal, there wasn't a car within miles of me."

"Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a complete stop, look both ways, and proceed with caution."

"You gotta be kidding me!"

"It's no joke, sir."

"Look, I slowed down almost to a complete stop, saw no one within twenty miles, and proceeded with caution."

"That's beside the point, sir. You are supposed to come to a complete stop, and you didn't. Now if I may see your license and..."

"You've sure got a lot of time on your hands. What's the matter, all the doughnut shops closed?"

"Sir, I'll overlook that last comment. Let me see your license and registration immediately!"

"I will, if you can tell me the difference between slowing down, and coming to a complete stop."

"Sir, I can do better than that." He opened the car door, dragged the obnoxious motorist out, and proceeded to methodically beat him over the head with his nightstick.

"Now sir, would you like me to slow down or come to a complete stop?"

Jury Duty

I was quite apprehensive when I got a summons for jury duty. Even more so when I had to fill out a 25 page (legal size) questionnaire. I could tell from the wording that the case would be a 'doozie'.

One question was: "Are there any reasons you feel that you can not serve on a jury?" Well, I thought a while and wrote - "Partial hearing loss at some frequencies."

Well, I made it through the first three cuts and was getting even more apprehensive.

The 4th cut required each person to be interviewed in the court room. The attorney for the state questioned me for about 5 minutes. Then, the defense attorney question me. About 5 minutes into the questioning, he said, "I see you have hearing loss at some frequencies. May I ask what frequencies?"

Well, not knowing how to reply to that, I thought a minute and replied, "'My wife's."

The attorney for the state started laughing and then her chair tipped over. The court room decorum broke down in a hurry led by the Judges laughter. The defense attorney got flustered and finally dismissed me from jury duty.

PS - I've never told my wife of this incident!

Recipe: Grilled Sweet-and-Sour Chicken Packets

Grilled Sweet-and-Sour Chicken Packets

Prep Time:30 min
Start to Finish:30 min
Makes:4 servings

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts (about 1 1/4 lb)
1/2 cup sweet-and-sour sauce
1 can (8 oz) pineapple chunks, drained
1 medium bell pepper, cut into strips
1/4 small onion, cut into small wedges
1/2 cup chow mein noodles, if desired

1. Heat gas or charcoal grill. Cut four 18x12-inch pieces of heavy-duty foil; spray with cooking spray.

2. On one side of each foil piece, place 1 chicken breast. Top each with 1 tablespoon sweet-and-sour sauce and one-fourth of the pineapple, bell pepper and onion. Top with remaining sauce.

3. Fold foil over chicken and vegetables so edges meet. Seal edges, making tight 1/2-inch fold; fold again. Allow space on sides for heat expansion.

4. When grill is heated, place packets on gas grill over medium heat or on charcoal grill over medium coals; cover grill. Cook 15 to 20 minutes, rotating packets 1/2 turn after 10 minutes, until juice of chicken is clear when center of thickest part is cut (170°F). Place packets on plates. Cut large X across top of each packet; fold back foil. Top with chow mein noodles.

Recipe: Greek Tossed Pasta Salad

Greek Tossed Pasta Salad

Feta, olives and tomatoes give a ready-in-30-minutes pasta salad its classic Greek inspiration.

Prep Time:15 min
Start to Finish:25 min
Makes:12 servings (1 cup each)

1 box Caesar pasta salad mix
1/4 cup water
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
4 cups torn romaine lettuce
2 medium tomatoes, coarsely chopped (1 1/2 cups)
1 small cucumber, coarsely chopped (1 cup)
1/2 cup thinly sliced red onion, slices cut in half
4 oz crumbled feta cheese (1 cup)
1 can (2 1/4 oz) sliced ripe olives, drained

1. Empty pasta mix into 3-quart saucepan 2/3 full of boiling water. Gently boil uncovered 12 minutes, stirring occasionally.

2. Drain pasta; rinse with cold water. Shake to drain well.

3. In large bowl, stir together seasoning mix, water and oil. Stir in pasta and remaining ingredients. Toss with croutons and Parmesan topping. Serve immediately, or refrigerate.

Nutrition Information
1 Serving: Calories 130 (Calories from Fat 60); Total Fat 6g (Saturated Fat 2g, Trans Fat 0g); Cholesterol 10mg; Sodium 370mg; Total Carbohydrate 15g (Dietary Fiber 1g, Sugars 3g); Protein 3g Percent Daily Value*: Vitamin A 25%; Vitamin C 10%; Calcium 6%; Iron 6% Exchanges: 1 Starch; 0 Other Carbohydrate; 0 Vegetable; 1 Fat
Carbohydrate Choices: 1
*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet.

A DYING SCOTSMAN

On his deathbed, he looked up and said: "Is my wife here?"

His wife replies: "Yes, dear, I'm here, next to you.."

The Scot goes: "Are my children here?"

"Yes, daddy, we are all here?" say the children.

The Scot: "Are my other relatives also here?"

And they say: "Yes, we are all here..."

The Scot gets up and says: "Then why the heck is the light on in the kitchen?"

STUPID SAYINGS

----> Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an asshole.

----> Impotence... Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"

----> The proctologist called...they found your head.

----> Everyone has a photographic memory...some just don't have any film.

----> Save your breath...You' ll need it to blow up your date.

----> Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

----> I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.

----> WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship

5 Helpful Hints---Curtains, Fan, Door, Shower, & Miniblinds

GREASY DIRT ON MINIBLINDS

Put on a pair of old cotton gardening gloves. Dip them into a mixture of household cleaner and warm water. Then run your fingers along each slat, top and bottom. Rinse.

SOAP SCUM ON SHOWER DOORS

Wipe with a solution of white vinegar and warm water, or spray with laundry prewash. If scum is heavy, scour with a nylon scrubbing pad. Rinse.

DIRTY PATIO DOOR TRACKS

Wrap a terrycloth rag around a screwdriver, spray with all purpose cleaner and make several passes along the track.

GRIMY PORTABLE FAN

Vacuum dust off grille with brush attachment. Use a hair dryer on cool setting to blow dust off blades. If the grille comes off, wipe blades with a household cleaner and damp cloth. Dry.

DUSTY DRAPES OR CURTAINS

Run the window treatment through the dryer on the no heat setting with a damp towel to attract the dust. Rehang immediately.*

Questions to an agony aunt

Dear Abby, A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

Dear Abby, What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR?
Dear Abby, I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.
Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.
Dear Abby, I've suspected t hat my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.
Dear Abby, Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?
Dear Abby, My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.
Dear Abby, I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.
Dear Abby, My mother is mean and short tempered. I think she is going through mental pause.
Dear Abby, You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?
Remember, these people can vote, which probably explains the current situation in Washington .

RELIGIOUS TEACHERS

A priest, a minister, a rabbi and a moulvi were all sitting at a table, finishing dinner and discussing theology. Suddenly an angel appeared before them.

"I have been sent to grant each of you one wish," he said. "Who will go first?"

The catholic priest stood up.

"I wish for the destruction of all protestants!"

Then the protestant minister bolted up.

"I wish for the destruction of all catholics!"

The rabbi stood up.

"I wish return of the Jews to their native lands, to fill in the gap to be left after all protestants and catholics are gone."

The Moulvi kept seated, so the angel asked, "How about you? What do you wish for, Moulana?"

The moulvi answered, "Well, if you're going to grant their wishes, I'll just settle for another cup of tea."

Stealing from hotels

STOLEN TOWELS

When Sam returned to the house one evening, his wife Sarah announced that the new cleaning woman they had hired had stolen two towels.

"Yeah," said Sam very disinterested, and reclining on the sofa, "that wasn't very nice of her to do."

"You're darn right it wasn't," Sarah said. "And they were the two best towels we had... the ones we got from the Hilton Hotel while we were on vacation."

Drunk, but driving

UNCONSCIOUS

Two men staggered into the pub, dragging their extremely pissed mate with them. When they reached the bar, they let him go and he collapsed in a drunken heap on the floor. "We'll have two beers," one of them slurred to the bartender.

"What about him?" asked the barkeep, pointing to the unconscious chap.

"No more for him - he's driving," the patron answered.

Can mobile phones roast popcorn

This was a hot video going around on Youtube for quite some time now, that talked of mobile phones having enough power to cause popcorn placed between 3 phones to start popping. There has always been the fear that the radiation from mobile phones is dangerous and can cause problems to people; imagine the fear when a mobile phone is kept in a shirt pocket right next to the heart - the mobile phone could disrupt the electrical signals of the brain. so, if you watch the below video, you will get a clearer view of why mobile phones are seen as so dangerous:



This is now revealed to be a hoax (link)

The company that made these have now admitted it was a fake. It was by Cardio Systems that make bluetooth wireless devices. On their website they have a disclaimer saying it was fiction and a viral advertising campaign.

Such hoaxes are dangerous. We should fear things based on facts and science, not based on some kind of stunt meant to promote some business, or for any other such reason.

Tips for Better Life from YOGA

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26.. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.

Bad play on words

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done

Reuters Lab - News map

Website offering news headlines from around the world... (link)

The page comes up as a world map and as you drag your mouse to each of the flags, the news headline appears.

You can also zoom in on an area (like a google map) (on the left hand side of the screen) and you can zoom right in for quite a detailed map of a region. Very geographically enlightening!

The headlines flag for stories that relate various regions which helps in seeing the global connections, and you may also choose to view the global map in either hybrid, road or arial views...

Your Handwriting Means

- If letters slant to the left: Indicates introspection and a lot of
emotional control.

- If letter slant to the right: Reveals a person who's outgoing,
friendly, impulsive, and emotionally open.

- If letters are straight up and down: The sign of someone who's ruled by
the head, not the heart.

- Letters that slant in more than one direction: Indicates versatility
and adaptability.

- An erratic slant: Usually means a lack of flexibility.

- Heavy pressure writing (like you can feel the rib made on the back of
the paper): The writer is agitated.

- Moderate pressure (the writing is dark, but you can't feel the rib on
the other side of the paper): Shows ability to deal with stress.

- Light pressure: Indicates someone who seems to take life in stride.

- Tiny letters: Indicate the writer is has somewhat low self esteem but
is intelligent.

- Small letters: The hallmark of quiet, introspective types - they're
generally detail-oriented and have good concentration.

- Large letters: Sign of a confident, easygoing individual.

- Huge letters: Indicate someone who's theatrical, usually loud, and
needs to be the center of attention at all times.

- Wide letters (their width and height are about the same): The mark of
someone who's open and friendly.

- Narrow letters: Show someone who's somewhat shy and inhibited but very
self-disciplined.

- Letters that don't touch: Indicate an impulsive, artistic, sometimes
impractical free thinker.

- Some letters connecting: Means the writer's personality blends logic
and intuition.

- All letters making contact: The sign of someone who's highly cautious.

- A curved first mark: Shows a person who's traditional and plays by the
rules.

- A straight beginning stroke: Reveals someone who's rigid and doesn't
like being told what to do.

- A final stroke straight across: The writer is cautious.

- An end mark that curves up: Reveals generosity.

- Perfect penmanship: The hallmark of a communicative person.

- An indecipherable scrawl: Indicates a person who's secretive, closed-up
and likes to keep his thoughts to himself.

Sudokuwheel

Interested in Sudoku ? Then you might be interested in this site.
These are Sudoku cards. Printed on 100% recycled white cardstock,
these Sudoku-style cards are blank inside and come with an
A2 envelope made from 100% recycled Kraft paper.

FIVE LEVELS OF HANGOVERS

One Star Hangover (*)

No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 cokes and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

Two Star Hangover (**)

No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the giant burrito from the 3:00 AM Mexican taco place adventure. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

Three Star Hangover (***)

Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke--yet you haven't peed once.

Four Star Hangover (****)

Life sucks. Your head is throbbing.
You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face.

For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your ass is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

Five Star Hangover (*****)

You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate spit so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out on your bed this morning. Any attempt to take a dump results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'Floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'Floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now...