Interesting job application

This is a job application that a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald's
restaurant in Florida ; and they hired him because he was so honest and
funny!

*NAME* : Greg Bulmash.

*SEX:* Censored

*DESIRED POSITION:* Company's President or Vice President. But seriously,
whatever's
available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here
in the first place.

*DESIRED SALARY:* $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz
style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can
haggle.

*EDUCATION:* Yes.

*LAST POSITION HELD:* Target for middle management hostility.

*SALARY:* Less than I'm worth.

*MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT:* My incredible collection of stolen pens and
'post-it' notes.

*REASON FOR LEAVING:* It sucked.

*AVAILABLE FOR WORK:* Of course. That's why I'm applying.

*PREFERRED HOURS:* 1:30 - 3:30pm. , Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

*DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:* Yes, but they're better suited to a
more intimate environment.

*MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:* If I had one, would I be here?

*DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING
UPTO 50lbs?: * 50lbs. of what?

*DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:* I think the appropriate question here would be "Do
you have a car that runs?"

*HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: * I may already be
the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

*DO YOU SMOKE?:* On the job, no, on my breaks, yes.

*WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: * Living in the
Bahamaswith a fabulously wealthy dumb blond supermodel who thinks I'm
the greatest
thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

*DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: * Yes. Absolutely.

*SIGN HERE:* Aries.