Really, Really Bad Traffic

* Freeway congestion is getting so bad, you can change a tire without losing
your place in line.

* All across the country rush hour traffic is bumper to bumper. The next
thing they'll be selling is antiperspirant to put under your car's fenders.

* Traffic is always heavy in both directions. There are just as many people
trying to get to whatever you're trying to get away from.

* You have mixed feelings when you see an opening in rush hour traffic.
You're glad for the opening, but you wonder who died.

* It's useless to print roadmaps anymore. You just get on the highway and go
wherever the other cars take you.

* The only way to get home from work on time is to take the day off...even
then, you're cutting it close.

* Traffic is so bad nowadays, a pedestrian is someone in a hurry.

* You don't even have to brush your teeth anymore. Just get in rush hour
traffic, smile, and let someone else's windshield wipers do all the work.

* You can sit on the highways forever. In fact, some places have little exit
ramps where you can pull over and make a car payment.

* During rush hour the only way you can change lanes is to buy the car
driving next to you.

* Remember the good old days when traffic used to be bumper to bumper? Now
it's windshield wiper to windshield wiper.