An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's
door due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder
was adamant that his patients be up and walking in the hall the day after
surgery, to help prevent blood clots forming in the leg veins. The nurses
walked the patient in the hall as ordered, and after the third day the nurse
told how he complained bitterly each time they did. The surgeon told them to
keep walking him.
After a week, the patient was ready to go. His family
came to pick him up and thanked the surgeon profusely for what he had done for
their father. The surgeon was pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them
that it was really a simple operation and we had been lucky to get him in time.
"But doctor, you don't understand," they said,
"Dad hasn't walked in over a year!"
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When a bashful student showed up after gym for the
mandatory shower still wearing his gym shorts, the coach stopped him and asked,
"Do you shower with shorts on at home?"
"No," the boy replied, "but I don't shower
with ten naked men at home, either."
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A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what
her own childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I
had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We
rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At
last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
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