Humor: Some jokes

A woman awoke excitedly on Valentine's Day and announced enthusiastically to her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day! What do you think it means?"

With certainty in his voice, the man said, "You'll know tonight."

That evening the man came home with a small package and handed it to his wife. With anxious anticipation the woman quickly opened the package to find a book entitled, "The Meaning Of Dreams."

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I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and she was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued.

At last, she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"

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Why God doesn't have a PhD

 1. He had only one major publication.
 2. It was in Hebrew.
 3. It had no references.
 4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
 5. Some even doubt he wrote it by himself.
 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
 8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
 9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
 10.When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects.
 11.When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
 12.He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
 13.Some say he had his son teach the class.
 14.He expelled his first two students for learning.
 15.Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests.
 16.His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a  mountaintop.