Adult humour - SOME HARD TRUTHS ABOUT SEX

1. When I was born, I was given a choice, a big dick or a good memory....I don't remember what I chose.

2. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

3. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings..."

4. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

5. Panties: not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

6. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.

7. Virginity can be cured.

8. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.

9. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

10. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

11. Question: What's an Australian kiss?
Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

12. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.

13. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives."