2 quick jokes

Life is all about ass; you're either covering it, laughing it off,
kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, or
behaving like one.

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A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman.

Several months later, a friend who used to work with him asked him
how he liked his new role.

"Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, but
what I like best is that the customer is always wrong."