Adult Joke - The old lady shot someone

Defence Attorney: Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.

DA: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

LOL: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front veranda, on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up and sat down beside me.

DA: Did you know him?

LOL: No, but he sure was friendly.

DA: What happened after he sat down?

LOL: He started to rub my thigh.

DA: Did you stop him?

LOL: No, I didn't stop him.

DA: Why not?

LOL: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my husband died some 30 years ago.

DA: What happened next?

LOL: He began to rub my breasts.

DA: Did you stop him then?

LOL: No, I did not stop him.

DA: Why not?

LOL: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

DA: What happened next?

LOL: Well, by then, I was feeling really "spicy" that I just lay down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me!"

DA: Did he take you?

LOL: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!"... And that's when I shot the little bastard!

Joke: The last gambit of a lawyer to protect his client

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse.
In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick: "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you
all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom."
He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked on eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened.
Finally the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty."
The jury, clearly confused, retired to deliberate. A few minutes later, the jury returned and pronounced a verdict of guilty.
"But how?" inquired the lawyer. "You must have had some doubt, I saw all of you stare at the door."
The jury foreman replied: "Oh, we did look, but your client didn't."

English Movie - Fugitive: A tight story of being one step ahead of the law

A fast paced action movie, with a fair amount of drama, a wrong court decision, and the need to get revenge (and clear his name) were some of the parts that made The Fugitive a very famous and commercially successful movie. The movie was nominated for a clutch of Oscars, and also earned more than $500 million worldwide. It helped that it starred 2 famous actors in the person of Harrison Ford (very famous for Star Wars and Indiana Jones), and Tommy Lee Jones. The movie also got good reviews from critics, making it really successful (it is not always seen for a movie to be both commercially successful and earn praise from critics).
The movie was released in 1993, and was based on a television series that aired on ABC between 1963 and 1967. The series ran for 4 years (interestingly, the first 3 seasons were in black and white, and the fourth season was in color). The movie has the same premise, where a doctor is charged for the murder of his wife, and escapes in order to prove his innocence.



The movie has principally 2 characters - Harrison Ford as Dr. Richard Kimble, and Tommy Lee Jones as Deputy United States Marshal Samuel Gerard. Dr. Kimble has been charged for the murder of his wife, based on the fact that his wife made a call to 911 which apparently led to Dr. Kimble being blamed for the murder. In addition, there was no evidence to back the claim of Dr. Kimble that a man with an artificial hand was responsible for the murder (there were no signs of somebody breaking into the house, there were no other fingerprints on the gun). Dr. Kimble was charged for murder, and convicted by a jury, sentenced to die.
However, on the way to prison in a bus (along with other convicts), there is a disturbance inside the bus that causes the bus to fall onto the path of an oncoming train. In the disturbance. Dr. Kimble manages to run away and is now being pursued by the United States Marshal service, led by officer Samuel Gerard. Kimble manages to change out of his prison uniform, shave, and alter his appearance, but Gerard is soon on the chase, and manages to corner him inside a storm drain inside a dam. The only option for Kimble to survive is by jumping into the flow of water falling from the dam, and he does so in a fairly spectacular shot.
Now, Kimble is on a mission to find people who have received a prosthetic arm, while striving to be hidden from the police who is chasing him. In the middle of this, while hidden in a hospital, he even saves a boy by altering the diagnosis and sending him to emergency surgery. Kimble even heads to the jail to try to find the one-armed man, but is not able to find him. He eventually gets into the home of a former police office called Frederick Sykes (Katsulas). Sykes was there in Kimble's list since he had received a prosthetic arm. It is in Sykes's home that Kimble finds evidence of what could have caused the attacks at Kimble's home, as well as the involvement of somebody close to Kimble. Can Kimble save himself from the police, and expose the involvement of others ?

The Fugitive was nominated for 7 Oscars:
Won: Best Supporting Actor - Tommy Lee Jones
Best Picture (lost to Schindler's List)
Best Cinematography (lost to Schindler's List)
Best Sound Effects Editing (lost to Jurassic Park)
Best Film Editing (lost to Schindler's List)
Best Original Music Score (lost to Schindler's List)
Best Sound (lost to Jurassic Park)

English Movie: 12 Angry Men (1957) - One man's fight for justice

The title above may seem like it is describing a man fighting for justice for himself, but in fact, the story is about a man fighting to get proper justice for an accused. In the United States, decisions for criminal cases are supposed to be evaluated by a jury made up of fellow citizens, who listen to the evidence, and its presentation by the prosecutors and by the defense; in the end, the jury has to reach a verdict that the judge follows. The movie hinges on the fact that for serious crimes, the verdict of the 12 member jury has to be unanimous, and if even one juror objects and does not agree to a unanimous verdict, the jury is called a hung trail, with the case being declared as a mistrial. There is pressure on the minority jury members to reach a verdict, else the jury has to sit for as long as it takes to reach a verdict; it is only if the foreman reaches a decision that a unanimous verdict cannot be reached, does the jury get dismissed.



The movie is about the murder trial of a teenager from poor and disturbed circumstances, who is accused of killing his father. The presentation of evidence is over, the lawyers have made their arguments, and the jury is now deliberating on the judgment. They have been instructed by the judge that they need to reach a verdict of whether the defendant is guilty of murder or not, and if they do reach a verdict of guilty, then the defendant will be sentenced to a mandatory sentence of death.
When a quick vote is taken, it is found that 11 of the jurors (all 12 are white men) are in favor of a death sentence, only Juror # 8 (Henry Fonda) does not vote guilty. In fact, Henry Fonda is not sure about the guilty or not, but believes that some of the evidence presented is circumstantial, and that the jurors must do a fair deliberation before judging the accused to be guilty (and sending him to his death). And thus, you have an excellent movie where you can see the mood of the jury (and individual jurors), as they go through the evidence, deliberate, and review their vote. Jurors change their votes depending on the evidence they hear during the discussion, with a few of them reversing their votes, and one of them voting guilty only because he is bigoted. Eventually, all of them change their vote to Not Guilty.
The movie was based almost entirely in one room, through the deliberations by the jury members, excepting for a couple of scenes in a washroom, and beginning and closing scenes on the steps of the courtroom. The movie did not so well commercially, but has now been recognized as a classic movie, with the role of Juror # 8 being one of the top 50 heroes.

Weird news: Mother cut open to take unborn baby

Sometimes you come across crimes so bizarre and horrible that one does not know how to react. One cannot easily determine whether the crime was conducted when the person was of sane mind, or whether the person was insane at that time, and laws normally do not easily allow people who are insane to be prosecuted for crimes that they committed (it is a different matter that it can be fairly difficult to determine whether the person was insane when they committed this crime).
Consider the following case where investigators found a dead woman and a dying baby inside the home of a woman who had earlier claimed to be pregnant, but who was not pregnant (link to article):

An Oregan who was killed last week was cut open by her killer so that the baby could be removed from her womb, an autopsy revealed. Authorities also said Heather Snively’s accused killer, Korena Elaine Roberts, who was arraigned on Monday, told her boyfriend and her family members she was pregnant, even though she wasn’t, The Portland Oregonian reported on Tuesday.
Roberts did not speak during her court appearance, the newspaper reported. Her court-appointed attorney did not enter a plea on her behalf. She is charged with the death of Snively, not her baby because the unborn child must have taken a breath to meet the legal standard of being alive, Washington county prosecutor Bob Hermann said. “The issue is - was the child alive at all, at any point in time?” he said. “That’s the legal issue we’ve got to try and resolve.”

In such a case, jury members have a tough task of determining whether the crime was conducted by a person in full control of their mind (and one can expect that the defense attorney will try to present a defence based on temporary insanity).

Weird news: Man kills a teenager for making noise

People are on a much shorter fuse nowadays, with the patience level having drastically reduced. And with the easy availability of weapons, the chance of this rage translating into something deadly has increased drastically. Consider this case where an elderly French man fired on a group of teenagers who were making a lot of noise (maybe too much noise for the gentleman) who killed one of them. The gunman was eventually caught by police (link to article):

Police said the man started shooting at “a group of teenagers who were talking loudly” in the eastern village of Guemar at around 1:00 am (2300 GMT Thursday) before taking refuge in his house. One of the youths who spoke to him was shot three times and later died from a wound to his shoulder, said police.

Weird News: 2 men cook body, being tried

A new mechanism to get rid of evidence. For a lot of murder trials, having a body is an important part of the overall evidence presented at the trial, and this is the reason why people try hard to get rid of the body - this could include tossing the body into water, burying it, burning it, or whatever. In this particular case, a person was owed $70,000 for a drug deal, and there was no intention to pay. So what better way to avoid paying and to also get out of the problem of leaving a body behind than to eat the body (link to article):

Prosecutors say two men killed a drug dealer to clear a debt, then dismembered his body and cooked the remains. Forty-seven-year-old Daniel Bradley and 48-year-old Paul Moccia pleaded not guilty Monday to murder in the death of 37-year-old Angel Antonio Ramirez.
The two were ordered held without bail. Authorities say Moccia owed Ramirez $70,000 from drug deals. They say Moccia shot Ramirez in March and Bradley helped him destroy the body.

Cannibalism is particularly repugnant to humanity, and brings about a feeling of disgust in most people when they get to know.

Please put down the gun

Father O'Grady was saying his goodbye's to the parishioners after his
Sunday morning service as he always does when Mary Clancey came up to
him in tears.

"What's bothering you so, dear?" inquired Farther O'Grady.

"Oh, father, I've got terrible news," replied Mary.

"Well what would that be now, Mary?"

"Well, my husband, Father... he passed away last night."

"Oh, Mary," said the priest, "that's terrible. Tell me Mary, did he
have any last requests?"

"Well, yes he did, Father, just one." replied Mary.

"What did he ask, Mary?"

Mary replied, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down the gun...'"