Joke: Idiot

A woman was letting her husband have it with just a touch more venom
than usual, saying, "You're an idiot.

You have always been an idiot. You'll always be an idiot.

If they had an idiot contest, you'd come in second."

"Why would I come in second?" her husband asked.

She replied, "Because you're an idiot!"

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A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab,
when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner.
The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the daughter asked her mother,
"Mummy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?"

To which the mother replied, "Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come home from work."

The cabbie, upon hearing this exchange, turned to the mother and said, "Aw, C'mon lady! Tell your
daughter the truth, for crying out loud! They're hookers!"

A brief period of silence followed, and the daughter then asked, "Mummy, do the ladies have any children?"

The mother replied, "Of course, dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?"

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Two bachelors were talking. One said to the other, "I got a cookbook the other day, but I can't do any of the recipes."

"Why? Are they too difficult?" asked the second.

"No," the first replied. "It's just that they all start with the same thing: 'Take a clean dish...'"