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Monday, February 2, 2015

Funny: Some jokes

A friend of mine was having a bit of marital tension in his household and was trying to figure out just what to do about it.

In the course of our conversation, I happened to mention to him that: "You know, quite often God speaks to us through our wives."

My friend looked at me kind-a funny and said, "Wow! I didn't know God used that kind of language!"


On my way to a picnic, I stopped at a fast-food place to order a quart of potato salad.

"We don't sell it by the quart," the salesman snapped.

"Okay, then give me two pints, please," I replied.

I'm proud to say that I held my tongue when she asked, "Do you want it in one container?"


Last year I entered the New York City Marathon. The race started and immediately I was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing.

The guy who was in front of me, second to last, was making fun of me. He said, "Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?"

I replied: "You really want to know?" Then I dropped out of the race.


Watching her mother as she tried on her new fur coat, the young daughter said unhappily, "Mom, do you realize some poor dumb beast suffered so you could have that?"

The woman shot her an angry look and yelled, "How dare you talk about your father like that!"

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