The Difference between Complete & Finished.

The Difference between Complete & Finished.

People say there is no difference between the English words "COMPLETE" & "FINISH".

...But there is.

When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE....

And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED.....


And when the right one catches you with the wrong one,
you are ... COMPLETELY FINISHED!!

Recipe - Barbecued Beef

Barbecued Beef

1 3-lb beef roast
2 t pickling spice
1 large bottle catsup
2 green peppers, minced
1 large onion, minced
2 t sugar
2 t vinegar
1 t dry mustard
1 t salt

Place roast in shallow pan; seal with foil. Bake at 300°F for 2 hours. Pierce foil to let steam escape. Reserve pan juices. Chill roast. Tie pickling spice in small bag; combine with catsup, peppers, onion, 1/3 cup water, sugar, vinegar, mustard, and salt. Simmer for 30 minutes, stirring frequently. Cut roast into cubes. Add reserved pan juices and roast; simmer until heated through. Serve in buns.

Totally politically incorrect office speak

The Corporate Lingo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY: We have no time to train you.

CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED: You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED: Some time each night and some time each weekend.

DUTIES WILL VARY: Anyone in the office can boss you around.

MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL: We have no quality control.

CAREER-MINDED: Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

APPLY IN PERSON: If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE: We have filled the job. Our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST: You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS: You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

Some signs found in kitchens - humorous

Signs Found In Kitchens

1. A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen and this kitchen is delirious.

2. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

3. A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he
just cleaned the whole house.

4. If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and cheap.

5. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

6. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

7. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease
to be amused.

8. A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.

9. Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out.

10. Housework done properly can kill you.

11. Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to
lead normal lives.

12. My next house will have no kitchen --- just vending machines

Kitchen Humour - Be careful about your foods getting expired

ICE CREAM - If you can't tell the difference between your ice cubes and your
ice cream, it's time to throw BOTH out.

FROZEN FOODS - Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.

EGGS - When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.

DAIRY PRODUCTS - Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway - if you can dig down and still find something non-green, bon appétit!

MEAT - If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, toss the meat.

UNMARKED ITEMS: You know it is well beyond prime when you're tempted to discard the Tupperware along with the food.

CANNED GOODS - Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be disposed of very carefully.

POTATOES - Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.

BREAD: Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are good indications that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment. You may wish to discard it at this time, depending on your interest in pharmaceuticals.

CEREAL: It is generally a good rule of thumb that cereal should be discarded when it is two years or longer beyond the expiration date, or when it will no longer fall out of the box by itself.

FLOUR: Flour is spoiled when it wiggles, or things fly out when you open it.

PRETZELS: Normally eternal, pretzels may be discarded if they can no longer be picked up without falling apart. Otherwise, there's nothing to stop you from eating a pretzel that the Pharaoh put down only 4000 years ago.

RAISINS: Raisins should not usually be harder than your teeth.

SALT: It never spoils. However, if you can't chip off reasonable amounts from the block, maybe another box is in order, as fresh salt usually pours.

SPICES: Most spices cannot die, they just fade away. They will be fine on your shelf, forever. Put them in your will.

VINEGAR: If your grandmother made it, it is probably still good.

THE GAG TEST - Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night).

EXPIRATION DATES: This is not a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you'll spend more on groceries. Even dry foods older than you are may be ready to replace. Perhaps you'd benefit by having a calendar in your kitchen.

Just for today, some good items to do ..

JUST FOR TODAY,

.. ..smile at a stranger
....listen to someone's heart
....drop a coin where a child can find it
....learn something new, then teach it to someone
....tell someone you're thinking of them
....hug a loved one
....don't hold a grudge
....don't be afraid to say "I'm sorry"
....look a child in the eye and tell them how great they are
....don't kill that spider in your house, he's just lost so show him the way out
....look beyond the face of a person into their heart
....make a promise, and keep it
....call someone, for no other reason than to just say "hi"
....show kindness to an animal
....stand up for what you believe in
....smell the rain, feel the breeze, listen to the wind
....use all your senses to their fullest
....cherish all of your TODAYS