Humor: Money and how to be right

A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window: "I want to open a damn checking account." To which the astonished woman replies: "I beg your pardon, sir; I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?"

"Listen up bitch! I said, I want to open a damn checking account right now!"

"I'm very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in this bank."

Having said this, the teller leaves the window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him about her problem customer. They both return and the manager asks the old geezer: "What seems to be the problem here?"

"There's no damn problem, sonny," the elderly man says. "I just won 50 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking account in this damn bank!"

"I see," says the manager thoughtfully."And you're saying that this bitch here is giving you a hard time?"

· Lesson Learnt - If you are RICH, you can get away with almost anything.

When you are old and rich

An elderly lady was stopped to pull into a parking space when a young man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for.
The little old lady was so upset that she went up to the man and said, "I was going to park there!" The man was a real smart Aleck and he said, "That's what you can do
when you're young and quick."
Well, this really upset the lady even more, so she got in her car and backed it up and then she stomped on the gas and plowed right into his Mercedes.
The young man ran back to his car and asked, "What did you do that for?"
The little old lady smiled and told him, "That's what you can do when you're old and rich!"