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Friday, June 29, 2012

Joke: What the police do ..

The SAS, the Parachute Regiment and the Police decide to go
on a survival weekend together to see who comes out on top.

After some basic exercises the trainer tells them that their
next objective is to go down into the woods and catch a
rabbit for their supper, returning with it ready to skin and

Night falls. First up - the SAS. They don infrared goggles,
drop to the ground and crawl into the woods in formation.
Absolute silence for 5 minutes, followed by the unmistakable
muffled "phut-phut" of their trademark silenced "double-tap".
They emerge with a large rabbit shot cleanly between the
eyes. "Excellent!" says the trainer.

Next up - the Para's. They finish their cans of lager, smear
themselves with camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge
down into the woods, screaming at the top of their lungs.
For the next hour or so the woods ring with the sound of
rifle and machine-gun fire, hand grenades, mortar bombs and
blood curdling war cries. Eventually they emerge, carrying
the charred remains of a rabbit. "A bit messy, but you
achieved the aim; well done", says the trainer.

Lastly, in go the coppers, walking slowly, hands behind
backs, whistling the theme tune from Dixon of Dock Green.
For the next few hours, the silence is broken only by the
occasional crackle of a walkie-talkie "Sierra Lima Whisky
Tango Fanta One; suspect headed straight for you..." etc.
After what seems an eternity , they emerge escorting a
squirrel in handcuffs. "What do you think you are doing?"
asks the incredulous trainer "Take this squirrel back and
get me a rabbit like I asked you to do five hours ago!".
So back they go. Minutes pass. Minutes turn to hours. Night
drags on and dawn breaks. Finally, the trainer and the other
teams are awakened by the police, holding the handcuffed
squirrel, now covered in scrapes and bruises, one eye
swollen shut. "Are you taking the micky?!?!" asks the now
seriously irate trainer. The police team leader nudges the
squirrel, who squeaks: "All right, all right. I'm a rabbit!"

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