Humour: Signs to Hang in the Office

I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

I have not yet begun to procrastinate.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm just a carrier.

Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

Don't treat me any differently than you would the queen.

God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends.

Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.

Coffee, chocolate, men: some things are just better rich.

How can I miss you if you won't go away?

And your point is...?

Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.

Of course I don't look busy I did it right the first time.

Do not start with me. You will not win.

You have the right to remain silent, so please shut up.

My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.

I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.

Sorry if I look interested. I'm not