Recipe: Chicken Soup with Butter Dumplings

Makes 4 servings
Time: 20 minutes

Serve in any chicken soup.

6 C chicken stock
4 T (1/2 stick) butter, softened
2 eggs
½ C flour
¼ C minced fresh parsley leaves
¼ C minced or grated onion
Salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste

Heat the stock in a large pot. Cream the butter in a bowl with the black of a fork, then beat in the eggs. Stir in the flour, parsley, onion, salt, and pepper, blending well. Add heated stock 1 T at a time, just until the batter is soft; do not make it too loose or the dumplings will fall apart.
Drop the batter by the scant teaspoonful into the simmering broth. Cook until set and cooked through, about 10 minutes, removing the dumplings as they are done. Serve immediately in the soup.

Adult Joke: Making love to a girl in the back seat of a car

A guy on a date parks and gets the girl in the back seat and they make love.

The girl wants it again and the guy obliges her. She wants more and
they do it again. She still wants more and the guy, by now exhausted, says:

"Excuse me a minute I have to relive myself."

While out of the car he notices a guy a half block away changing a
flat. He goes up to the guy and says;

"Look, I've got this gal in my car and I've given it to her four or
five times and she still wants more. I'll change your flat if you'll
take over for me."

The guy agrees. He jumps into the back of the car and starts to go at
it with the woman.

He's just getting to the gravy strokes when a cop knocks on the
window and shines a light on them.

The cop asks, "What're you doing in there?"

The guy says "I'm making love to my wife."

The cop asks, "Why don't you do that at home?"

The guy answers "To tell you the truth, I didn't know it was my wife
until you shined the light on her.

Humour: Things you should probably not say at a wake

* So, what are you gonna do with his golf clubs?

* Who do I talk to about his bar tab?

* Of course you'll miss him, he didn't molest you.

* How long you think until he starts to stink?

* Wow! Other than his wife, is there anyone in this room he didn't bang?

* Say what you will, Madame Toussot does nice work.

* It's weird not seeing him drunk.

* I always thought he was gay.

* Isn't that suit gonna be a little warm for Hell?

* So now that you're a widow, what do you do? Masturbate?

* I was there when he died. Man, what a baby.

Joke; A teacher in heaven

A teacher dies and goes to Heaven. When she gets there she meets Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

Peter says to her, "Welcome to Heaven. Let me give you an orientation first." So Peter takes her to some beautiful houses.

The teacher asks, "Who lives here in these beautiful houses?"

"These are for doctors. They did a lot of good on Earth so they get a nice mansion," replies Peter.

Peter takes the teacher to some more mansions. These were more magnificent than the first.

"Wow, who lives here?"

"These mansions are for social workers. They did a lot of good on Earth, but didn't make a lot of money so they get a better house."

Peter takes the teacher to some more mansions. These are the most gorgeous homes she had ever seen. They have huge columns, well manicured lawns, beautiful stained glass windows - - - the works!

"These are the most beautiful homes I have ever seen," exclaims the teacher. "Who lives here?!"

"Teachers live here," says Peter, "they did much good on Earth and received very little money, so they get the best houses in all of Heaven."

"But where are all of the teachers?" inquires the teacher.

Peter answers, "Oh, they'll be back soon. They're all in Hell at a faculty meeting."

Recipe: Cabbage Soup

Makes 4 servings
Time: about 45 minutes

This North European staple can always be improved by using Savoy cabbage in place of tight green head cabbage. For a thicker, more substantial soup, see the second variation.

1 small head green, Savoy, or Napa cabbage, about 1-1/2 lbs
4 T (1/2 stick) butter or 3 T extra-virgin oil
1 large onion, sliced
Salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste
2 T brown sugar
¼ t ground allspice
5 C chicken, beef, or vegetable stock, or water, preferably warmed
Freshly squeezed lemon juice or white wine or rice vinegar to taste

Core and shred the cabbage. Place the butter or oil in a large, deep saucepan or casserole and turn the heat to medium. When the butter melts or the oil is hot, add the cabbage, onion, slat, and pepper. Cook, stirring, until both the onion and cabbage are tender but not brown---turn the heat down a little if necessary---at least 20 minutes.
Stir in the sugar and allspice and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Add the stock or water and cook, stirring occasionally, for about 15 minutes. (You may prepare the soup in advance up to this point. Cover, refrigerate for up to 2 days, and reheat before proceeding.)
Add a teaspoon or two of lemon juice, then taste and adjust seasoning. Serve hot.

Recipe: Onion Soup

Makes 4 servings
Time: about 1 hour

This onion soup has a thin coating of good cheese rather than the more common gobs of mozzarella or Cheddar. It's light but incredibly deep in flavor.

4 T (1/2 stick) butter
4 large onions, thinly sliced (about 6 cups)
5 C beef or chicken stock, preferably warmed
2 or 3 sprigs fresh thyme or pinch dried thyme
2 or 3 sprigs fresh parsley
Salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste
2 T cognac (optional)
4 croutons, made with bread slices & butter
1 C freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Melt the butter in a large, deep saucepan or casserole over medium heat. Add the onions and cook, stirring occasionally, until very soft and beginning to brown, 30 to 45 minutes.
Add the stock, turn the heat to medium-high and bring just about to a boil. Turn down the heat so that the mixture sends up a few bubbles at a time. Add the seasoning herbs, salt, pepper, and cognac and cook for 15 minutes. Preheat the oven to 400°F. Fish out the parsley and thyme sprigs, if any. (You may prepare the soup in advance up to this point; cover and refrigerate for up to 2 days, then reheat before proceeding.)
Place a crouton in each of four ovenproof bowls. Add a portion of soup and top with cheese. Place the bowls in a roasting pan or on a sturdy baking sheet and bake for 10 minutes, or until the cheese melts. Serve immediately.

Recipe: Simplest Split Pea Soup

Makes 4 to 6 servings
Time: about 1-1/2 hours

To make pea soup, you need split peas, water (or stock, or course), and croutons.

2 C green split peas, washed & picked over
6 C chicken, beef, or vegetable stock, or water
Salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste
Croutons

Combine the peas and the stock or water in a large, deep saucepan or casserole and bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Turn the heat to low, cover partially, and cook, stirring occasionally, until the peas are very, very soft, about 45 minutes to 1 hour.
Mash the mixture with a fork or potato masher, or put it through a food mill or strainer, or puree it carefully in a blender. (You may prepare the soup in advance up to this point. Cover, refrigerate for up to 2 days, and reheat before proceeding.) Reheat, adding more stock or water if necessary to achieve the consistency you like. Season to taste and serve with croutons.

Alternatives to fruits (in recipes)

Many times, we come across recipes which require fruits and they may not be available in exactly the form as needed in the recipe. Here are some alternatives:

1 teaspoon grated orange rind = 1/2 orange

3 tablespoons lemon juice = 1 lemon

1-1/2 teaspoons grated lemon rind = 1 lemon

1 cup mashed banana= 3 medium bananas

6 tablespoons orange juice = 1 orange

1 cup chopped apple = 1 medium apple

4 cups sliced apples = 4 medium apples

2 cups pitted cherries = 4 cups un-pitted cherries

4 cups sliced fresh peaches = 2 lbs or 8 medium peaches

1 cup orange juice = 3 medium oranges