2 quick jokes

A group of elderly Jewish men meet every Wednesday for coffee and a chat.

They drink their coffee and then sit for hours discussing the world situation.

Usually, their discussion is very negative.

One day, Aaron surprises his friends by announcing, loud and clear,
"You know what? I've now become an optimist."

Everyone is totally shocked and all conversation dries up.

But then Sam notices something isn't quite right and he says to
Aaron, "Hold on a minute, if you're an optimist, why are you looking
so worried?"

Aaron replies, "Do you think it's easy being an optimist?"

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A homeless guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink.

The bartender says, "No way, pal. I don't think you can pay for it."

"You're right," the guy says. "I don't have any money, but if I show
you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?"

"You have a deal, my friend," says the bartender, "I've been here 20
years and I've seen everything."

The guy reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster.

He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar,
down the side of the bar, across the room, up the piano, onto the
keyboard and starts playing Mozart.

The hamster can really play...

"You're right... I've never seen anything like that before," says the
bartender. "That hamster is really gifted."

The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another.

"Will that be cash or another miracle, pal?" asks the bartender.

"Watch this," replies the guy.

He reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog.

He puts the frog onto the bar, and the frog starts to sing.

A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and
offers him $300 for the frog.

"It's a deal," says the guy.

He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog.

The stranger runs out of the bar.

"Are you some kind of nut?" asks the bartender. "You sold a singing
frog for $300?

It could have been worth millions. You must be crazy."

"Not so," says the guy. "The hamster is a ventriloquist."