Jokes

1. A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit, She instructed her son to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to his daddy who was on site. After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that there was a lady that picked up daddy's phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile.
Women!!
She waited impatiently for her husband to return from work and upon seeing him in the driveway, she rushed out and gave him a tight slap, and she slapped him again, for good measure. People from the neighborhood rushed around to find out what the cause of the commotion was.
The woman asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called.
Junior said "The subscriber you have dialed is not available at present. Please Try Again Later"..


2. Sarcastic Quotes For You ...

-- "If winners never quit and quitters never win then who came up with the saying 'quit while you're ahead'?"

-- If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope he likes enchiladas, because that's what he's getting.

-- Whats this bout rowing gently down the stream? What do you think us rowers are? Pansies? HELL NO! Catch us if you can!

-- A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a best friend will be in the next cell saying "that was fucking awesome

-- What do sheep count when they can't sleep?

-- "Boys are like roses, watch out for the pricks...

-- Stoners live and stoners die, and at the end they all get high, then soon the don't succeed, FUCK IT ALL LETS SMOKE SOME WEED!

-- *Fighting for peace is like f***in for virginity*

-- It takes 42 muscles to frown and only four to extend my middle finger and tell you to bite me.

-- I wasn't kissing him, I was just telling his lips a secret!

-- Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

-- God created men first, cause you always makes a rough draft before a masterpiece!

-- Heaven won't have me and hells afraid I'll take over!

-- Guys are like slinkies its always fun to watch them fall down the stairs

-- A wise monkey never monkies w/ another monkey's monkey!

-- ***Everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the privilege***

-- One day your prince will come, mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is 2 stubborn to ask for directions~*~

-- Last night I was looking at the stars and I was wondering where the heck is my ceiling!

-- Did you fall down the ugly tree and hit every branch on your way down!

-- They say true love hides behind every Corner...I must be walking in Circles! *

-- Im an angel! Honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo up straight!

-- 4 out of 5 voices in my head say go back to sleep