Humour: The language used by a woman, and why it does not make sense

"Yes" = No

"No" = Yes

"Maybe" = No

"I'm sorry." = you'll be sorry.

" We need" = I want

"It's your decision" = the correct decision should be obvious by now.

" Do what you want" = you'll pay for this later.

" We need to talk" = I need to complain

"Sure... go ahead" = I don't want you to.

" I'm not upset" = of course I'm upset, you moron!

" You're ... so manly" = you need a shave and you sweat a lot.

" You're certainly attentive tonight" = is sex all you ever think about?

" Be romantic, turn out the lights" = I have flabby thighs.

" This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house.

" I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

" Hang the picture there" = NO, I mean hang it there!

" I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep.

" Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

" How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're really not going to like.

" I'll be ready in a minute." = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.

" Is my butt fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful.

" You have to learn to communicate." = Just agree with me.

" Are you listening to me!?" = [Too late, you're dead.]

" Was that the baby?" = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

Humour: All about men

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: Oh about 45 pounds.

Q. What does a man consider to be a seven-course meal?
A. A hot dog and a six-pack.

Q. How do men define a 50-50 relationship?
A. We cook/they eat; we clean/they dirty; we iron/they wrinkle.

Q. What did God say after he created man?
A. "I can do better than this."

Q. Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
A. When the crew gets lost in space, at least women will ask for directions.

Q. How are men like noodles?
A. They are always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.

Q. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women?
A. When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.

Ambience Mall - the fun continues at the border of Delhi-Gurgaon (bowling, etc)

Bowling is something that the younger generation in Delhi really enjoys. The feeling of being with friends, or family members, in a playful environment and where there is a spirit of competiveness can be great. However, till recently, Delhi did not have too many bowling alleys. It is only recently that Delhi and the NCR region has started having more bowling alleys, with probably the largest one coming in the Ambience Mall.
The Ambience Mall is large, and also probably has the largest bowling alley, with 24 lanes of wooden lanes. The air is pretty professional, you have to register with names, are assigned socks and shoes (they forbid people from bowling without wearing the proper shoes, and without wearing socks). Other places do tolerate the non-wearing of shoes, but the Blue-O bowling galley declares that such things are mandatory.
Do remember, it is more expensive than many others places, with the prices starting at Rs. 125 on weekdays during the day time, increasing to Rs. 175 on nights, and topping off at Rs. 200 on weekends. This is the most expensive bowling alley that I have been to in the entire NCR region. In addition, they charge you a non-refundable fees of Rs. 25 for socks (you can keep them, so you should wear your own to the bowling alley), and a Rs. 35 rental for the shoes (you need to return the shoes). No other bowling alley in the NCR region that I had been to charged rental for shoes.
Spread across 42,500 sq ft, this plush bowling alley with tangerine strip lighting on the ceiling comes equipped with two platinum lounges for privacy, karaoke rooms, an X Box 360 room. The entrance to blu O is lined up with shelves that are stocked with decorative pins.

Mud Finger Paint 4+ y/o

Children explore the sense of touch and have fun with farm animal art.

Materials needed:
Pale pink construction paper
Marking pens or crayons
Mud or dirt (Potting soil does not work well for this project. It needs to be real earth dirt.)

What to do:

1. Using pale pink construction paper, cut out a large profile of a pig's body (do not cut out the legs or tail).
2. Wet the dirt so it is a nice consistency for finger painting.
3. Have the children draw on one eye, one traingle ear, one snout nostril (this is only one side of his face) and a mouth.
4. Have child glue pig body onto a bigger sheet of paper and draw four legs and a curly tail.
5. Have the children finger paint mud on the pig.

More to do:

Children can mud finger paint on a big sheet of slick paper on or the table just for fun.

Jokes

1. A couple of F-15's are escorting a C-130 Hercules, and their pilots are
chatting with the pilot of the transport to pass the time. Talk comes
around to the relative merits of their respective aircraft.

The fighter pilots contend that their airplanes were better because of
their superior speed, maneuverability, weaponry, and so forth,and
pointed out the Hercules deficiencies in these areas.

After taking this for a while, the C-130 pilot says, "Oh yeah? Well, I
can do a few things in this old girl that you'd only dream about."

Naturally, the fighter pilots challenge him to demonstrate.

"Just watch," comes the quick retort.

And so they watch. But all they see is that C-130 continue to fly straight
and level...

After several minutes the Hercules pilot comes back on the air, "There!
How was that?"

The fighter pilots reply, "What are you talking about? What did you do?"

And the Hercules pilot replies, "Well, I got up, stretched my legs, and
got a cup of coffee."


2. The young girl was seated in her doctor's office.

"Our tests indicate that you are pregnant," said the
physician, "and there is every indication that you are
going to have twins."

"But how can that be, doctor?" the girl protested.
"I've never been out on a double date in my life!"


3. A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a
sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he is smarter than the
deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is
certain that he has a better education then any cop from
Houston, Texas. He decides to prove this to himself and
have some fun at the Texas deputy's expense.

The deputy says, "License and registration, please."

"What for?" says the lawyer.

The deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at
the stop sign."

Then the lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was
coming."

"You still didn't come to a complete stop," says the
deputy. "License and registration, please."

The lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

"The difference is you have to come to complete stop,
that's the law. License and registration, please!" the
Deputy says.

Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference
between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license
and registration; and you give me the ticket. If not,
you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

"That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir,"
the deputy says.

At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and
starts beating the daylights out of the lawyer and says,
"Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?"


4. Bill and Hillary are at the Yankee season opener sitting in the first
row, with the Secret Service agents directly behind them.

One of the Secret Service guys leans forward and whispers something to
Bill.

At first, Clinton stares at the guy, looks at Hillary, looks back at the
agent, and shakes his head.

The agent then says, "Mr. President, it was at the unanimous request of
the entire team, from the owner on down to the bat boy."

Bill hesitates...but begins to change his mind when the agent tells him
the fans would love it!
Bill shrugs his shoulders and says, "Okay, if that's what the people
want."

With that, Bill gets up, grabs Hillary by her collar and the seat of her
pants, lifts her up, and tosses her right over the wall onto the field.

She gets up kicking, swearing, screaming, "I'll kill you! You @#$!
&&&&&&&&
*%$%**!!!..

The crowd goes absolutely wild. Fans are jumping up & down, cheering,
hooting & hollering, and high-fiving.

Bill is bowing, smiling and waving to the crowd. He leans over to the
agent and says, "How about that I would have never believed how much
everyone would enjoy that!" Noticing his agent has gone totally pale, he
asks what is wrong.

The agent replies, "Mr. President, Sir, I said they wanted you to throw
out the first "PITCH" !!

Jokes

1. Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their
car.

Another hunter approached pulling his along too. "Hey,
I don't want to tell you how to do something...but I
can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer
in the other direction. Then the antlers won't dig into
the ground."

After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.

A little while later one hunter said to the other,
"You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"

"Yeah," the other added, "but we're getting farther
away from the truck...."


2. A father and his small son were out walking one after-
noon when the youngster asked how the electricity went
through the wires stretched between the telephone poles.

"Don't know," said the father. "Never knew much about
electricity." A few blocks farther on the boy asked what
caused lightning and thunder.

"To tell the truth," said the father, "I never exactly
understood that myself."

The boy continued to ask questions throughout the walk,
none of which the father could explain. Finally, as
they were nearing home, the boy asked,

"Pop, I hope you don't mind my asking so many questions..."

"Of course not", replied the father. "How else are you
going to learn?"


3. A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still
in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and
wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the
house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he
found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw
rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly
blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys
and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on
the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on
the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of
sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of
clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or
that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle
of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside
he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor.
Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared
over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the
bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and
asked how his day went.

He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home
from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"

"Yes," was his incredulous reply.

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

Wife's are Priceless, isn't it?


4. When Ole quit farming, he discovered that he was the
only Lutheran in his new little town of all Catholics. That
was okay, but the neighbors had a problem with his
barbecuing beef every Friday. Since they couldn't eat
meat on Friday, the tempting aroma was getting the
best of them.

Hoping they could do something to stop this, the neighbors
got together and went over to talk to Ole. 'Ole,' they said,
'since you are the only Lutheran in this whole town and there's
not a Lutheran church for many miles, we think you should
join our church and become a Catholic.'

Ole thought about it for a minute and decided they were
probably right. Ole talked to the priest, and they arranged it.

The big day came and the priest had Ole kneel. He put his
hand on Ole's head and said, 'Ole, you were born a
Lutheran, you were raised a Lutheran, and now...' he said as
he sprinkled some incense over Ole's head,
'now you are a Catholic!'

Ole was happy and the neighbors were happy. But the
following Friday evening at suppertime, there was again the
aroma of grilled beef coming from Ole's yard. The neighbors
went to talk to him about this and as they approached the
fence, they heard Ole saying to the steak:

'You were born a cow, you were raised a cow,' and as he
sprinkled salt over the meat he said, 'and NOW you are a FISH!'


5. A Businessman taking a seminar on efficiency completed a
case study of his wife's routine for fixing breakfast, and
presented the results to the class.

"After a few days of observation, I quickly determined the
practices that were robbing her of precious time and
energy,"

the man reported. "taking note of how many trips she made
to the kitchen to the dining room carrying just one item,
I suggested that in the future she carry several items at
a time."

"Did it work?" the teacher asked.

"It sure did," replied the businessman. "Instead of taking
her 20 minutes to fix my breakfast, it now take ME just
seven."

Jokes

1. Amazing Golf Ball

Two golfing friends were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had but one golf ball.

"Don't you have at least one other ball?" he asked.

"Nope, I only need one ball."

"Are you sure? What happens if you lose that one?"

"This is a very special golf ball. You can't lose it, so I don't need another one."

"What do you mean you can't lose it! What happens if you slice your shot and the ball goes in the lake?"

"That's okay, this special golf ball senses when it's under water and it puts out a steam of bubbles. I'll be able to retrieve it. You can't lose this ball"

"Well what happens if you hit it into the long rough?"

"No problem, you see, this ball can detect the long grass and it sends up puffs of fluorescent smoke. I'll be able to see it easily. You can't lose this ball"

Exasperated, the friend asks, "Okay. Let's say our game goes late, the sun goes down, and you hit your ball deep into the trees and it gets lost among the bushes and shrubs? What are you going to do then?"

"That's okay too. You see, this special ball can sense the darkness and it makes a beeping sound. I'll be able to get it back - no problem."

Finally satisfied that he needs only the one amazing golf ball, the friend asks, "Hey, where did you get a golf ball like that anyway?"

"I found it."


2. A motorcycle patrolman was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.

Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily. Written in large black letters was the sentence: "Get well quick..... from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week."


3. An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both.

As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!"

At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!"

"Come on God, give me a break!," the man pleaded. "Two minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either."


4. The local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. A local volunteer calls to solicit his donation, saying "Our research shows that even though your annual income is over a million dollars, you do not give one penny to charity Wouldn't you like to give back to your community through The United Way?"

The lawyer thinks for a moment and says: "First, did your research show that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and has huge medical bills far beyond her ability to pay?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, "Uh, no."

"Secondly, that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his wife and six children?"

The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology but is cut off.

"Thirdly, that my sister's husband died in a dreadful traffic accident," the lawyers voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children?"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says simply, "I had no idea."

The lawyer then says, "...and if I don't give any money to THEM, why should I give any to you?"


5. It would seem that a parish priest in the County Mayo was walking
along a road when he saw an angry-looking bull burst through a gap
in a hedge and trot threateningly across the field where a peasant
girl was milking a cow of a staid and venerable appearance.

The clergyman shouted a warning. The girl glanced up, then calmly
went on with her milking.

The bull continued to advance. He snorted and pawed the earth and
tossed his massive head. The alarmed cleric called out again to the
imperiled young woman, bidding her to run for safety.

She looked about, waved a hand reassuringly and bent again to her task.

Just as the distressed onlooker was preparing to risk his own life by
distracting the animal from the reckless colleen, the bull gave a
final snort, turned off and lumbered back to his pasture.

The good father vaulted the hedge and proceeded to lecture the girl
on her foolhardiness in face of a great peril. With an airy wave of
her arm she interrupted him:"Shure, your riverince," she said, "I was
in no danger whatsoever."

"What makes you say that, you foolish child?" he demanded. "With my
own two eyes didn't I see him charging down upon you. It was only by
the mercy of Providence and my own quick prayers for your deliverance
that he didn't stick you with both those long horns of his."

"Beggin' your pardon, Father," she said, "but that wasn't it at all.
All along, from the first, I knew he wouldn't dare come nearer toward me."

"Why wouldn't he then?"

"He wouldn't come by reason of this cow bein' here all the while."

"And what had that old cow to do with it?" asked the astonished priest.

"She's his mother-in-law."

Jokes

1. Two strangers were seated next to each other on the plane when the guy turned to a beautiful blonde and made his move by saying " Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The blonde, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly, and said to the guy, " What would you like to discuss?"

"Oh, I don't know," said the player. " How about nuclear power?"

" Ok," said the blonde. "That could be an interesting topic, but let me ask you a question first.- A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff, yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out flat patties, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

"Oh hell," said the guy " I have no idea."

Well said the blonde, "How is it then you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"


2. An Air Force cargo plane was preparing for departure from Thule Air Base in Greenland. They were waiting for the truck to arrive to pump out the aircraft's sewage holding tank.

The Aircraft Commander was in a hurry, the truck was late in arriving, and the Airman performing the job was extremely slow in getting the tank pumped out.

When the commander berated the Airman for his slowness and promised punishment, the Airman responded: "Sir, I have no stripes, it is 20 below zero, I'm stationed in Greenland, and I am pumping sewage out of airplanes. Just what are you going to do to punish me?"

Jokes for the day

Jokes:

1. Free Haircut

A man and a little Johnny entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair.

"I`m goin` to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I`ll be back in a few minutes."

When the boy`s haircut was completed and the man still hadn`t returned, the barber said, "Looks like your dad`s forgotten all about you."

"That wasn`t my daddy," said Johnny. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, `Come on, son, we`re gonna get a free haircut!`"


2. A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times
more per hour then we get paid for medical care."

"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't
changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models
coming every month."


3. A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding. When
he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service,
they opted for the contemporary.

On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate route to
the church. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his pants legs to keep
his trousers dry.

When he finally reached the church, his best man rushed him into the
sanctuary and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was starting.

"Pull down your pants," whispered the pastor.

"Uh, Reverend, I've changed my mind," the groom responded. "I think I would
prefer the traditional service."


4. A man wakes up one morning to find a gorilla on his roof. So he looks
in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Gorilla

Removers". He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he'll
be over in 30 minutes.

The gorilla remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a
ladder,a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull. "What are
you going to do," the homeowner asks?

"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go
up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this baseball bat.
When the gorilla falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his
testicles and not let go. The gorilla will then be subdued enough for
me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."

He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.

"If the gorilla knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog"


5. My wife and I and our three-year-old daughter Carrie were visiting friends
who had a newborn child. When the infant began to cry, the mother started
up the stairs to the nursery and asked Carrie if she'd like to help.

Thrilled, Carrie followed, and after a few minutes, the crying stopped.

Suddenly, we heard the baby start crying again, even more loudly than
before.

Soon Carrie appeared at the foot of the stairs and said proudly, "Daddy, I
helded the baby!"

As an English professor, I couldn't help saying, "That's nice, Carrie, but

what's the past tense of 'hold'?"

She paused for a moment, looked down at the carpet, and in a soft voice
responded, "Dropped?"

Joke about software industry capability process

Engineer to Team Leader:

"We can't do this proposed project. It will involve a major design change and no one in our team knows the design of this system. And above that, no body in our company knows the formulation in which this application has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it, they can't. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never take these type of projects."


Team Leader to Project Manager :

"This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don't have any staff who has experience in this type of work. Also, the language is unfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we take this project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a project of this nature."


Project Manager to General Manager :

"This project involves a design change in the system and we don't have much experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company are appropriately trained for it. In my personal opinion, we might be able to do the project but we would need more time than usual to complete it."


General Manager to Vice President :

"This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who have worked in this area and others who know the implementation language. So they can train other people. In my personal opinion we should take this project,but with caution."


Vice President to CEO :

"This project will demonstrate to the industry our capabilities in remodelling the design of a complete legacy system. We have all the necessary skills and people to execute this project successfully. Some people have already given in house training in this area to other staff members. In my personal opinion, we should not let this project slip by us under any circumstances."


CEO to Client :

"This is the type of project in which our company specializes. We have executed many projects of the same nature for many large clients. Trust me when I say that we are the most competent firm in the industry for doing this kind of work. It is my personal opinion that we can execute this project successfully and well within the given time frame.

A test of your eye-sight and concentration

Look at these puzzles, and try to see how easily you can complete these tasks. These are a good test of your eye-sight and coordination, coupled with concentration:

Can you find the "C" ??? (Good exercise for the eyes!)


OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Once you've found the C..........




Find the 6!


9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999699999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999


Once you've found the 6...

Find the N! (it's hard!!)

MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMNMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM

Some new laws

1. Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

2. Anthony's Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Kovac's Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

4. Cannon's Karmic Law:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre.

5. O'brien's Variation Law:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

6. Bell's Theorem:
When the body is immersed in water, the te lephone rings.

7.. Ruby's Principle of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8. Willoughby's Law:
When yo u try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

9. Zadra's Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10. Breda's Rule:
At any event, the pe ople whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

11. Owen's Law:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12. Howden's Law:
You remember you have to mail a letter only when you're near the mailbox.

And the last and best :

13. Murphy's Law
What has to go wrong will go wrong.

The mysterious number 6174

I was roaming around the web, when I saw this particular web page, explaining the mystery of the number 6174. Read it to the end, and you will feel happy that you learnt something new.
So what's the mystery of the number 6174? Well, it's sort of like a mathematical puzzle. You need to do the following steps:
1. Take any 4 digit number where all 4 digits are not the same (so you can't select 9999), so for example, take 3456
2. Rearrange the digits to get the largest and smallest number: so you get 3456 and 6543
3. Subtract them, so you get 6543-3456 = 3087
4. Do this again with the resultant number, so you get 8730 - 378 = 8352
5. Again repeat 4, so you get 6174
6. Do it again, 7641-1467 = 6174
The number repeated itself, and will do so again and again, no matter which 4 digit number you take.
For 3 digits number, you get 495

Some great tongue twisters

Enjoy these great tongue-twisters

1. Mr. See owned a saw.
And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw.
Now, See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
Before Soar saw See,
Which made Soar sore.
Had Soar seen See's saw
Before See sawed Soar's seesaw,
See's saw would not have sawed
Soar's seesaw.
So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.
But it was sad to see Soar so sore
just because See's saw sawed
Soar's seesaw.

2. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
He would chuck, he would, as much as he could,
And chuck as much as a woodchuck would
If a woodchuck could chuck wood.

3. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
If a woodchuck could chuck wood?
He would chuck, he would, as much as he could,
And chuck as much as a woodchuck would
If a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Some interesting facts

• No piece of normal-size paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.
• The first product to have a bar code scanned was Wrigley's gum.

• Earth is the only planet not named after a pagan God.

• A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brother's first flight.

• Every day is about 55 billionths of a second longer than the day before it

• Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

• The Himalayan gogi berry contains, weight for weight, more iron than steak, more beta carotene than carrots, more vitamin C than oranges.

• Fingerprints of koala bears are similar (in pattern, shape and size) to the fingerprints of humans

• Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

• SCUBA divers cannot pass gas at depths of 33 feet or below

• Pele has always hated his nickname, which he says sounds like "baby-talk in Portuguese".

Some cool eye teasers

Read out loud the text inside the triangle below

More than likely you said, "A bird in the bush," and........
if this IS what YOU said, then you failed to see that the word THE is repeated twice! Sorry, look again.

Next, let's play with some words.
What do you see?

In black you can read the word GOOD, in white the word EVIL (inside each black letter is a white letter). It's all very physiological too, because it visualize the concept that good can't exist without evil (or the absence of good is evil ).

Now, what do you see?

You may not see it at first, but the white spaces read the word optical, the blue landscape reads the word illusion. Look again! Can you see why this painting is called an optical illusion?

What do you see here?



This one is quite tricky!
The word TEACH reflects as LEARN


Test Your Brain
This is really cool. The second one is amazing so please read all the way though.

ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST

Count every " F" in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS...

(SEE BELOW)

HOW MANY ?

WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.

The reasoning behind is further down.

The brain cannot process "OF".

Incredible or what? Go back and look again!!

Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.

Three is normal, four is quite rare.

Send this to your friends.
It will drive them crazy.!
And keep them occupied
For several minutes..!

O lny srmat poelpe can raed tihs. cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on !!

Psas Ti ON !

Fun number puzzle with birthday

Using a calculator with this puzzle might help

Take the number of the month you were born,
multiply by 4,
add 13,
multiply by 25, subtract 200,
add the day of the month on which you were born,
multiply by 2, subtract 40, multiply by 50, add the last two digits of the year in which you were born,
subtract 10,500.

Notice anything funny about your answer?

Did your math teacher teach you this?

Google Images Cool Stuff

1. Go to Google
2. Click images
3. Type "flowers" or any other word.
4. You will get a page which is having full of images
5. Then delete the URL from the address bar and paste the below script

javascript:R=0; x1=.1; y1=.05; x2=.25; y2=.24; x3=1.6; y3=.24; x4=300; y4=200; x5=300; y5=200; DI= document.images; DIL=DI.length; function A(){for(i=0; i<DIL; i++){DIS=DI[ i ].style; DIS.position='absolute'; DIS.left=Math.sin(R*x1+i*x2+x3)*x4+x5; DIS.top=Math.cos(R*y1+i*y2+y3)*y4+y5}R++}setInterval('A()',5); void(0)

6. See the magic.

Actually, this will work on any page that has images on it. Looks very cool.