Humor: My order

There's a little local restaurant here that I went to the other day and ordered a tuna fish sandwich on white bread. "I'm sorry, sir," the waitress said, "but we're all out of white bread. Can we put that on wheat for you?"

Sure, what the heck.

You know how you get when you just crave something? I was in a tuna mode all that week, I guess, because I was back at the restaurant the next day, again ordering the same tuna sandwich. Got the same waitress as the day before. I told her, "On white, please."

"Gosh, I'm sorry, sir, can we put that on wheat for you? We're out of white today."

Hurm. Sure. Go ahead.

The craving didn't subside. For the third day in a row, I was back at the local cafe. This time, I thought I'd save myself and the very same waitress some grief. "A tuna fish sandwich, please, on wheat bread."

The waitress looked up from her pad, "Aren't you the guy who usually orders it on white?"

Joke: Becoming smarter quickly

A customer at Morris' Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence. "Tell me, Morris, what makes you so smart?"

"I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Morris replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant."

"You sell them here?" the customer asks.

"Only $4 apiece," says Morris.

The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.

"You didn't eat enough," says Morris.

The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry. "Hey, Morris," he says, "You're selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I just found out I can buy the whole fish for $2. ...You're ripping me off!"

"You see?" says Morris. "You're smarter already!"

Recipe: Lightening-Quick Fish Soup

Makes 4 servings
Time: 20 minutes

If you have fish stock and fish scraps in the freezer, combine them here. If not, use chicken stock or water and fresh fish.

5 C fish, chicken, or shrimp stock, or water
1 large onion, chopped
1 T minced garlic
1 t paprika
Pinch saffron (optional)
1 T extra-virgin olive oil
1 C cored, peeled, seeded, & chopped tomatoes (canned are fine; include their liquid)
Salt & freshly ground black pepper to taste
1-1/2 lbs any white-fleshed fish, cut into small chunks, or fish mixed with shelled seafood, such as clams, shrimp, or scallops
Minced fresh parsley leaves for garnish

Combine all the ingredients except for the fish and parsley in a large, deep saucepan or casserole and turn the heat to high. Bring to a boil, then turn the heat to medium and cook fro 5 minutes, stirring occasionally.
Add the fish and cook, stirring, until it cooks through, about 5 minutes. Garnish and serve.

Recipe: Blackened Catfish Recipe

6-8 - catfish fillets, thinly sliced

1 – teaspoon crushed dried thyme leaves

1 – teaspoon cayenne pepper

1 – teaspoon black pepper

1 – teaspoon salt

1/2 - teaspoon garlic powder

1/2 – teaspoon onion powder

1/2 - teaspoon paprika

1/2 – cup butter, melted

lemon juice

Rinse catfish fillets under running cold and then thoroughly pat dry with paper towels.
Make your seasoning mixture by combining crushed dried thyme leaves, cayenne pepper, black pepper, salt, garlic powder, onion powder and paprika in a small bowl.
Brush melted butter lightly over catfish fillets and sprinkle with blackened seasoning mix. Repeat for other side.
Be sure to completely coat each fillet.
Heat cast iron skillet until it is very hot, about 10 minutes.
Pour the leftover butter into your skillet.
Carefully place the catfish fillets into the skillet and cook for about 4 minutes on both sides. This blackened seasoning mixture will produce some smoke so another way to tell when to turn over you fillets is when the smoke turns gray.
Serve finished fillets over a bed of white steamed rice.
Add lemon juice to the top of each fillet.

Joke: Using dynamite to fish

A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught
more fish than anyone else, whereas the other guys would only catch three or
four a day. Sam would come in off the lake with a boat full. Stringer after
stringer was always packed with freshly caught trout. The warden, curious,
asked Sam his secret.

The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and
observe. So the next morning the two met at the dock and took off in Sam's
boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, Sam stopped the boat, and the
warden sat back to see how it was done.

Sam's approach was simple. He took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and
threw it in the air. The explosion rocked the lake with such a force that
dead fish immediately began to surface. Sam took out a net and started
scooping them up.

Well, you can imagine the reaction of the game warden. When he recovered
from the shock of it all, he began yelling at Sam. "You can't do this! I'll
put you in jail, buddy! You will be paying every fine there is in the book!"

Sam, meanwhile, set his net down and took out another stick of dynamite. He
lit it and tossed it in the lap of the game warden with these words: "Are
you going to sit there all day complaining, or are you going to fish?"

Studying fish stocks from the past in order to figure out the future

Scientists know that fishing stocks the world over are at risk, both from changes due to global warming, and due to over-fishing (and there have been many reports and articles predicting dire forecasts for the health of the fishing stock in the world's oceans). However, in a more detailed and back-looking approach, researchers are studying historical records to see what fish stocks were like just hundreds of years ago, and try to use that data to correlate into estimates of what the future will hold. They are getting hold of historical tax records and logs maintained by sailors, and studying them to determine the long-term impact.
The research was carried out by Members of the History of Marine Animals Project (HMAP), and they came out with results detailing the change in fish species over the past few hundred years that shocked them, and about which they believe that the level of public awareness is low (link to article):

The scale of humanity's impact has shocked them. "I was surprised by the magnitude of the depletion of species and its universality around the globe," Dr. Andrew Rosenberg, an HMAP project leader told CNN. "The extent of it was really quite dramatic. We've fundamentally changed ecosystems without realizing that was possible." HMAP research has revealed a picture of a remarkable wealth of life in the seas as recently as 200 years ago, which has now largely been lost.
Before whaling began in the waters to the south of New Zealand around 1800, the population of whales was roughly 30 times higher than today. In the 17th century the waters around southwest England were home to blue whales, as well as large numbers of porpoise, dolphins, and blue and thresher sharks. Around the world the inshore regions of our seas are estimated to have on average held 10 times the amount of life two or three hundred years ago than they do today.

The oceans are a fundamental factor in the continuance of the human species, whether that be due to the effect they have on global climate, or due to the fact that many geographical concentrations of humanity are dependent on sea life as a major source of nutrition. For the fisheries around the world to have lost so much correlates with earlier research from a couple of years back that stipulated the dangerous position that many of the world's fishing stocks are in. We already see this in the restrictions on the amount of fishing allowed in many regions around the Atlantic in order to conserve the fish population.
At the same time, the research also found that there is hope. If scientifically imposed restrictions on fishing are imposed, fish stocks have bounced back, with the example of the regeneration of the North Sea (Atlantic) herring stocks. If Governments have the courage to thwart the short term interests of the commercial fishing industry, then fish stocks (and the larger species such as whales and other larger fish) can come back.

Recipe: SWORDFISH SPIEDINI

16 dried bay leaves
3 tbs each olive oil and lemon juice
1 tbs chopped thyme or lemon thyme
1 tsp garlic paste or 1/2 tsp garlic, minced
1 small red onion, cut into 16 pieces
1 large navel orange, cut into 16 wedges
16 cherry tomatoes
3/4 tsp kosher salt
1/2 tsp ground pepper
1 1/2 pounds swordfish, cut into 16 pieces

1. In a large bowl, cover bay leaves with hot water, let soak 10 min. Drain water. Add remaining ingredients to bowl, except swordfish, and toss to mix. Add swordfish, toss. Marinate at room temp while preheating broiler.
2. Drain marinade from bowl and reserve. Alternately thread an orange slice, swordfish, bay leaf, onion, and a tomato on 4 metal skewers. Place on broiler pan rack, brush with reserved marinade.
3. Broil 8 min. turning skewers halfway through cooking and basting with reserved marinade, until swordfish is lightly browned and barely opaque in middle, or to desired doneness. Serve over Spicy Garlic Broccoli Rabe.

MAKES 4 SERVINGS.

Recipe: Anaheim Fish Tacos

1 teaspoon vegetable oil
1 Anaheim chile pepper, chopped
1 leek, chopped
2 cloves garlic, crushed
salt and pepper to taste
1 cup chicken broth
2 large tomatoes, diced
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1 1/2 pounds halibut fillets
1 lime
12 corn tortillas

Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium heat, and saute the chile, leek,
and garlic until tender and lightly browned. Season with salt and pepper.
Mix the chicken broth and tomatoes into the skillet, and season with cumin.
Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low. Place the halibut into the mixture.
Sprinkle with lime juice. Cook 15 to 20 minutes until the halibut is easily
flaked with a fork. Wrap in warmed corn tortillas to serve.

Recipe: ASIAN BLACK COD

1 cup chicken broth
2 tbs hoisin sauce
1 tbs rice vinegar
2 tsp vegetable oil
4 black cod or halibut fish fillets
8 oz shiitake mushrooms, stems removed, caps cut in strips
1 medium red bell pepper, cut in strips
1 tbs minced ginger
1/2 tsp minced jalapeno or serrano chile
1/2 cup sliced green onions

1. Heat oven to 400 degrees. Rimmed baking sheet lined with foil.
2. Mix broth, hoisin and vinegar.
3. Heat oil in a skillet. Cook fillets in skillet, skin side up, until browned. Place fillets skin side down on baking sheet. Bake fillets 12 min. or until fish is cooked through.
4. Saute in same skillet the mushrooms, bell pepper, ginger and chile 5 min. Stir in green onions and the broth mixture, cook 30 seconds.
5. Spoon vegetables onto each serving plate and top each with a fillet. SPOON BROTH OVER FILLETS AND SERVE.

Makes 4 servings.