Joke: The farmer and his wages

A man owned a small farm in South Georgia . The Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent to interview him.

"You just give me a list of your employees and tell me how much you pay them."

"All right," said the farmer. "I have a hired man. Been with me for three years. I pay him $600 a week, plus room and board. I have a cook. She's been here six months. She gets $500 a week plus room and board."

"Anybody else?" asked the agent as he scribbled on a note pad.

"Yeah," the farmer said. "This guy is none too bright. Works about eighteen hours a day. I pay him ten dollars a week and give him chewing tobacco."

"Aha!" the agent roared. "I want to talk to that man!"

"Speaking," said the farmer.

Humour: Dispute between a big city lawyer and others

A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old
rancher. The rancher's prize bull was missing from the section through which
the railroad passed. The rancher claimed that the bull must have been hit by
the train, and wanted to be paid the fair value of the bull.

The case was scheduled to be tried before the justice of the peace in the
back room of the general store.

As soon as the rancher showed up, the attorney for the railroad pulled him
aside and tried to get him to settle out of court. The lawyer did his best
selling job, and finally the rancher agreed to take half of what he was
asking.

After the rancher had signed the release and took the check, the young
lawyer couldn't resist gloating a little over his success, telling the
rancher, "You know, I hate to tell you this, old man, but I put one over on
you in there. I couldn't have won the case. The engineer was asleep and the
fireman was in the caboose when the train went through your ranch that
morning. I didn't have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!"

The old rancher replied, "Well, I'll tell you, young feller, I was a little
worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home
this morning."

joke: THE FARMER AND THE GOVERNMENT MAN

A cocky Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm and talked with the old farmer, telling him, "I need to inspect your farm."

The old farmer said "OK, but don't go in that field right over yonder."

The Agriculture representative went red in the face and lectured, "Sir, I have the authority of the U.S. Government behind me. See this ID card? It means I am allowed to go wherever I wish on any agricultural land -- no questions asked or answered. Do you understand!?"

The farmer nodded politely and went about his chores. Later, he heard loud screams and saw the Ag Rep running for the fence. Close behind was the farmer's huge-horned prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets, and was gaining on the government man at every step.

"Help! HELP!" the Aggie screamed.

The old farmer called out, "Show him your ID card! Show him your ID card!!"

Farming using sea water

Imagine farming using sea water ! But this person is doing exactly that (link). Carl Hodges is growing salicornia, a crop nourished by ocean water that holds the potential to provide food and fuel to millions.
A few miles inland from the Sea of Cortez, amid cracked earth and mesquite and sun-bleached cactus, neat rows of emerald plants are sprouting from the desert floor. The crop is salicornia. It is nourished by seawater flowing from a man-made canal. And if you believe the American who is farming it, this incongruous swath of green has the potential to feed the world, fuel our vehicles and slow global warming.
The Earth's ice sheets are melting fast. Scientists predict that rising seas could swallow some low-lying areas, displacing millions of people. Hodges sees opportunity. Why not divert the flow inland to create wealth and jobs instead of catastrophe? He wants to channel the ocean into man-made "rivers" to nourish commercial aquaculture operations, mangrove forests and crops that produce food and fuel. This greening of desert coastlines, he said, could add millions of acres of productive farmland and sequester vast quantities of carbon dioxide, the primary culprit in global warming. Hodges contends that it could also neutralize sea-level rise, in part by using exhausted freshwater aquifers as gigantic natural storage tanks for ocean water.

God working on farm alone

A farmer purchased an old, run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields were grown over with weeds, the farmhouse was falling apart, and the fences were broken down.

During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man's work, saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!"

A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. Lo and behold, it's a completely different place. The farm house is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition, there is plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens, and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows.

"Amazing!" the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!"
"Yes, reverend," says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"

The horse who liked to sit

A farmer's horse dies and he heads into town to buy a replacement. He heads to the local horse dealer to see what's available. He looks at several fine horses but they are all way beyond what he can afford. He explains his predicament to the dealer who tells him, "Come around back, I think I may have something for you"
He shows him a horse that while not as impressive as those out front, seems to be healthy and strong. And the price is less than half the others. "Before I can sell you this horse," explains the dealer, "There's something I have to tell you"
"I knew there had to be a catch" said the farmer, "What is it?"
"Well, this horse likes to sit on banana peels." said the dealer. "If he sees a banana peel anywhere, he'll sit on it and you won't be able to budge him for half an hour"
The farmer thinks this over for a while and decides that it's pretty unlikely he'll come across too many banana skins, so he agrees to buy the horse. He saddles it up and heads for home. A few miles down the trail the farmer is feeling pretty good about the whole deal, the horse is sure footed and responds well to the reins. He figures he's got a good bargain.
Suddenly, up ahead, he spies something yellow on the ground. As they get closer he realizes that it's a banana peel. The trail is too narrow to go around the banana peel so he decides to cross to the trail on the other side of the river. He steers the horse into the river and they start to cross.
Halfway across the river the horse suddenly sits down and the farmer is thrown into the water cracking his head on a rock. Nothing the farmer can do will get the horse on it's feet again. Soaking wet, bleeding and shivering with cold, the farmer wades
to the other bank. Half an hour later the horse gets back on its feet and walks to
shore. The farmer rides it back to the farm without incident.
The next time the farmer is in town, the dealer sees him and asks how he's making out with his new horse. "Terrible!" says the farmer. He points to the gash on his head
and tells him the story of what happened in the river.
The dealer smacks his hand to his forehead and says...
"Oh! I forgot to tell you! He sits on fish too"