Joke: Tiger and the elephant

There was this tiger that woke up one morning and just felt great. He felt so good, he went out and cornered a small monkey and roared at him, "WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?"

And the poor quaking little monkey replied, "You are of course, no one is mightier than you."

A little while later the tiger confronted a deer, and bellowed out, "WHO IS THE GREATEST AND STRONGEST OF ALL THE JUNGLE ANIMALS?"

The deer shook so hard it could barely speak, but managed to stammer, "Oh great tiger, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle."

The tiger, being on a roll, swaggered up to an elephant who was quietly munching on some weeds, and roared at the top of his voice: "WHO IS THE MIGHTIEST OF ALL THE ANIMALS IN THE JUNGLE?"

Well, the elephant grabbed the tiger with his trunk, picked him up, slammed him down; picked him up again, and shook him until the tiger was just a blur of orange and black and finally threw him violently into a nearby tree.

The tiger staggered to his feet and looked at the elephant and said, "Man, just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so mad."

Joke: A strange dog

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard.  I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home.

He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep in a corner.  An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, resumed his position in the hall, and slept for an hour.

This continued for several weeks.

Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."

The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with ten children - he's trying to catch up on his sleep.  Can I come with him tomorrow?"