Joke: The potion that makes a person younger

A man and his wife receive a letter from their daughter who went to study overseas:

My beloved Parents, I miss you so much. I don't know when I'm coming home, but it seems not anytime soon. It breaks my heart to think that by the time I get back you'll be too old. So enclosed you will find a bottle of a potion I have invented. It will make you young, so when I return you'll be the same age as I left you. NOTE: "Please take only one drop"
NOTE: "Please take only one drop"

So they open the envelope and in it there is a bottle with a red potion..
The husband looks at the wife and says: "You go first."

So the wife opens the bottle and takes a drop, there after the husband follows. Indeed they do turn 5 years younger.

A year passes and the daughter returns home to find her mother young and beautiful, carrying a baby on her back.
The mother proceeds to tell her daughter how the potion worked and made her look young.

The daughter is delighted and asks about her father.
"Your father, my child, got so jealous that I was young and beautiful so he drank the whole bottle."
"So where is he?"

"Oh, that's him I have on my back."

Hindi Serial - Basera on NDTV Imagine - tale of parents being deserted by their families

A lot of people would have seen the movie called 'Baghban' starring Amitabh Bachchan and Hema Malini, as a couple whose children eventually go tired of supporting them after Amitabh retires and with whom they are no longer comfortable. The new serial 'Basera' on NDTV Imagine also goes down this path. Ram Kapoor, fresh from his role as the host on Rakhi Ka Swayamwar, is the head of one family with loving children. The serial is about 4 such families, these being the Sanghvis, the Parikhs, the Deshmukhs, and the Manchandas.
The parents in all these families have done a lot for their children, given that whatever they could, all in the expectation that when they are older, their children will take care of them. In all this, they have not made adequate provisions for their own life when they are much older. So, what happens when their children do not live up to this faith, when they desert them and see their parents as burden upon them. When life deals them such harsh lessons, these 4 friends and their wives provide a lot of support to each other, and enable them to be strong in such adverse times.



Videos of the serial on Youtube:

Basera - August 31st - Part 1 (link)



Basera - August 31st - Part 2 (link)



Basera - August 31st - Part 3 (link)

Ten Rules For Dating My Daughter

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, because you're not picking anything up here.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below the neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to insure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate... When it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you to expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is, "Early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt that you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it's okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:

•Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.

•Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns with eyesight.

•Places where there is darkness.

•Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.

•Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.

•Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies that feature chain saws are okay.

•Hockey games are okay.

•Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car. There is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

Leaving the children at home

A couple had recently purchased the DVD from a movie that they and their best friends, Tom and Carol, had really wanted to see in the theater. Unfortunately, they had all missed it. So they invited the friends over to watch it.

Since Tom's mother (92 years old) lived with them, and being a bit leery of leaving her home alone, they brought her along. And so, after exchanging greetings, they put the DVD in the player and settled back to enjoy the movie.

It had been a long day/week for Tom, however, and they noticed that Tom kept nodding off. As his head dropped lower, it finally startled him awake.

He shook it off the first few times, but eventually turned to Carol and told her wife it was time to leave, as his mother must be getting tired.

Grandma was indignant! She rapped him on the head, playfully, and pointed out to him who was REALLY tired.

Then she looked to their hosts and said, "My dears, next time you invite me, I'll be sure to leave the children at home."

I Can't Hear You

A young man was having some money problems, and needed $200 to get his car fixed and roadworthy again, but he had run out of people to borrow from. So, he calls his parents via the operator, and reverses the charge and gets his father.

"I need to borrow two hundred dollars," he says.

At the other end, his father says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, son, I think there may be a bad line."

The boy shouts, "Two hundred. I need two hundred dollars!"

"Sorry, I still can't hear you clearly," says his father.

The operator cuts in, "Sorry to butt in, but I can hear him perfectly clearly."

The father says, "Good. YOU send him the money!"

Lessons Learned from Mothers

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....
"You are going to get it when we get home!"

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to me!"

4. My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, your not going to the store with me."

5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

7 My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

8 My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

9. My Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You're just like your father."

10. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

11. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

12. And my all time favorite... JUSTICE...
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....Then you'll see what it's like."

PARENTHOOD - The trials

If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something
called labour!

Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your
car, and you get about the same results.

The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are
still on your side.

Avenge yourself ~~~ live long enough to be a problem to your children.

The best way to keep kids at home is to give it a loving atmosphere ~~
and hide the keys to the car.

Parents: People who bare infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.

The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children
are finally in bed.

Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need babysitters and
too young to borrow the family car.

Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he
can tell when he's really in trouble.

Grandparents are similar to a piece of string ~ handy to have around and
easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren.

There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone
to do it, or forbid your children to do it.

Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents.

Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel
the driveway during a snowstorm.

Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was
small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.

There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable
diseases and his mother's age.

Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because
they know all the answers.

An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small
children.

Loving Daughters

Three mothers were sitting around comparing notes on their exemplary offspring.

"There never was a daughter more devoted than my Alice ," said Mrs. Davis with a sniff. "Every summer she takes me to the Catskills for a week, and every winter we spend a week at Delray Beach ."

"That's nothing compared to what my Anna does for me," declared Mrs. Jones proudly. "Every winter she treats me to two weeks in Miami , and in the summer two weeks in the Hamptons , in my own private guest house."

Mrs. Smith sat back with a proud smile. "Nobody loves her mother like my Jackie does. Nobody."

"So what does she do?" asked the two women, turning to her.

"Three times a week she gets into a cab, goes to the best psychiatrist in the city, and pays him a hundred and fifty dollars an hour - just to talk about me!"

Children and .... teenagers

I just realized that while children are dogs ... loyal and affectionate ... teenagers are cats.

It's so easy to be a dog owner. You feed it, train it, boss it around. It puts its head on your knee and gazes at you as if you were a Rembrandt painting. It bounds indoors with enthusiasm when you call it.

Then around age 13, your adoring little puppy turns into a big old cat. When you tell it to come inside, it looks amazed, as if wondering who died and made you emperor. Instead of dogging your doorstep, it disappears. You won't see it again until it gets hungry ... then it pauses on its sprint through the kitchen long enough to turn its nose up at whatever you're serving. When you reach out to ruffle its head, in that old affectionate gesture, it twists away from you then gives you a blank stare, as if trying to remember where it has seen you before.

You, not realizing that the dog is now a cat, think something must be desperately wrong with it. It seems so antisocial, so distant, sort of depressed. It won't go on family outings. Since you're the one who raised it, taught it to fetch and stay and sit on command, you assume that you did something wrong. Flooded with guilt and fear, you redouble your efforts to make your pet behave.

Only now you're dealing with a cat, so everything that worked before now produces the opposite of the desired result. Call it and it runs away. Tell it to sit and it jumps on the counter. The more you go toward it, wringing your hands, the more it moves away.

Instead of continuing to act like a dog owner, you can learn to behave like a cat owner. Put a dish of food near the door and let it come to you. But remember that a cat needs your help and your affection too. Sit still and it will come, seeking that warm, comforting lap it has not entirely forgotten. Be there to open the door for it.

One day your grown-up child will walk into the kitchen, give you a big kiss and say, "You've been on your feet all day. Let me get those dishes for you." Then you'll realize your cat is a dog again.