Beer, solution to all problems

I have a new hero. I just read today about a Slovak man who was trapped in his car under an avalanche and freed himself by drinking 60 bottles of beer and urinating on the snow to melt it.
Rescue teams found Richard Kral drunk and staggering along a mountain path four days after his Audi car was buried in the Slovak Tatra mountains. He told them that after the avalanche, he had opened his car window and tried to dig his way out. But as he dug with his hands, he realized the snow would fill his car before he managed to
break through.
He had 60 half-liter bottles of beer in his car as he was going on holiday, and after cracking one open to think about the problem he realized he could urinate on the snow to melt it.
He said: "I was scooping the snow from above me and packing it down below the window, and then I peed on it to melt it. I'm beginning to believe Homer Simpson when he said, "Beer, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems."

Beer vs. Women

BEER VS WOMAN

1. A beer is always wet, a woman isn't.
1 point for beer!

2. Beer is horrible when it is hot.
1 point for women!

3. A cold beer satisfies you.
1 point for beer!

4 . If you come back home smelling beer, your wife can get angry at you. If you come back home smelling women, your wife will get angry for sure and she might even not talk to you again.
Draw! (It depends on your point of view).

5. 10 beers in a night and then you can't drive. 10 women in one night and you don't have to drive anywhere!
1 point for women!

6. The older beer is, the better.
1 point for beer!

7. Many beers can make you see UFO's. Many women can make you see God!
1 point for women!

8. If you ask yourself how the next woman will be, you're normal. If you ask yourself how the next beer will be, you're alcoholic.
1 point for women!

9. For a beer you pay taxes.
1 point for women!

10. If you take a second beer, the first one doesn't get angry.
1 point for beer!

11. You can always be sure that you're the first one "opening" a beer.
1 point for beer!

12. If you shake a beer, after a while it calms down by itself.
1 point for beer!

13. You know exactly how much a beer costs.
1 point for beer!

14. A beer doesn't have a mother.
1 point for beer!

15. You can do it if you want, but beer won't ask you to hug her for half an hour after.
1 point for beer!

Final Score: Beer beats women. (9 to 6)
If you're a woman and getting angry, think that a beer wouldn't.

Another point for beer! FINAL SCORE: 10 to 6.

Joke

HOW TO HAVE FUN WITH BEER COASTERS

1- Remove a beer coaster from your local bar.

2- Carefully split the beer coaster top and bottom.

3- Insert a 10 pound note and reseal.

4- Return to bar.

5- Place beer coaster under glass.

6- Wait for the bar to get extremely busy.

7- Discuss in a VERY LOUD voice the adverts on TV and in the papers which says Brewery X have hidden 10 notes in their coasters.

8- Keep arguing about whether it's true or not until everyone in the bar knows what you're talking about.

9- Tear open some beer coasters; look depressed.

10- Partially tear open the one with the 10 bill in it.

11- Shout, "I've won ! I've won", and wave the tenner still wedged in the beer coaster around

12- Watch every coaster in the bar get destroyed