Hibernate vs. Standby

Setting the system to hibernate allows for a faster startup when the system is turned on. Systems should not be left on constantly as this leaves them wide open to attacks if they are connected to the internet. It is also a waste of power and will cause unnecessary wear and tear.

Hibernate and Standby are very similar. In each case, the system takes a snapshot of what is going on and saves it to a file, to be read on startup. Hibernate writes this file to the harddrive as hiberfil.sys. Since it is on the harddrive, the machine can be disconnected from the power source and moved without loosing the hibernate settings.

Standby does the same thing but writes the file to memory instead of the harddrive. The memory requires standby power to keep the information. If the power is disconnected, the file disappears and the system must start from scratch.

Joke

While my friend was working as a receptionist for an eye surgeon, a very angry woman stormed up to her desk. "Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday," she complained. The doctor came out and tried to calm her down.
"I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing," he said.
"Why do you think your wig was taken here?"
"After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly.
It surely was not the one I came in wearing!"
"I think," explained the surgeon gently, "that means your cataract operation was a success."

Joke

From the Washington Post Style Invitational in which it was postulated that English has male and female nouns, and readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice, and explain their reason.

The best submissions:

Detective Novel -- f., because you're not supposed to peek at its end the minute you pick it up.

Swiss Army Knife -- m., because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

Kidneys -- f., because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

Penlight -- m., because it can be turned on very easily, but isn't very bright.

Hammer -- m., because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years but it's handy to have around and is good for killing spiders.

Tire -- m., because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.

Hot air balloon -- m., because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it. And, of course, there's the hot air part.

Web page -- f., because it is always getting hit on.

Web page -- m., because you have to wait for it to reload.

Shoe -- m., because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

Copier -- f., because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed.Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

Magic 8 Ball -- m., because it gives monosyllabic answers that usually indicate it did not pay attention to your question.

Ziploc bags -- m., because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

Sponges -- f., because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

Critic -- f. What, this needs to be explained?

Subway -- m., because it uses the same old lines to pick up people.

Hourglass -- f., because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

Joke

TEN THOUGHTS TO PONDER FOR 2008

----> Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.

----> Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

----> Number 8
Men have two emotions:
Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .

----> Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

----> Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky .. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

----> Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

----> Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.

----> Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

----> Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

----> And The Number 1 Thought For 2008 :
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration?

THE ART OF MAKING OTHERS HAPPY.....

Keep your thoughts positive, because your thoughts become your words.

Keep your words positive, because your words become your actions.

Keep your actions positive, because your actions become your habits.

Keep your habits positive, because your habits become your lifestyle.

Keep your lifestyle positive, because your lifestyle becomes your destiny

Joke

Nick lives in a subdivision that branches off the main highway. He drives a
Corvette, and thinks the only two speeds are "STOP" and "FULL SPEED."

One day, when he was late for work, he comes tearing out the road from his house, tops the little hill before getting to the main road, and sees a police car blocking the road. He slams on the brakes and comes to a screeching halt about 6 inches from the police car. The policeman, who had often seen him driving fast, walked up and said, "Mister, I've been waiting for you all morning..."

Nick replied "Well gosh, I got here as fast as I could!"

Excuses For Missing Work

Excuses For Missing Work

If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.

When I got up this morning I took two Ex-Lax in addition to my Prozac. I can't get off the john, but I feel good about it.

I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e*log(pi) clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.

My stigmata's acting up.

I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?

I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have
that deadline to meet...

I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.

Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you? No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.

Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.

I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.

The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.

The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.

I prefer to remain an enigma.

My step mother has come back as one of the Undead and we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake through her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.

I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for
helicopter transportation.

I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.

I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.

I refuse to travel to my job in the District until there is a commuter
tax. I insist on paying my fair share.

I've used up all my sick days...so I'm calling in dead!