Joke: Soviet style sharing

Seems the Soviet Department of Information Services (Ministry of Propaganda) was out in the field, taking "The Revolution" to the people: explaining the fundamentals of Socialism to the populace to bolster popularity.

A member of the Department was out talking to a farmer in Siberia.

Official: "So you see, comrade, dat it iz de way Marx explained: ' From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs.' You understand?"

Farmer: (confused) "Nyet..."

Official: "OK. Iz like dis: Say a comrade has two cows. Ve take one cow from him and give it to comrade that has no cow. Dat is de Rewolution. You see?"

Farmer: "Da, Da! Iz good!"

Official: "And if a comrade has two tractors, ve take one of his tractors and give to man who has no tractors. Da?"

Farmer: "Da! Da! Is WERY good!"

Official: "And if a comrade has two cheekens, ve give one cheeken to man who has no cheekens. Da?"

Farmer: "Nyet! Iz not good!"

Official: "Vhy?"

Farmer: "I have two cheekens..."

Scarcity in the Soviet Union

Morris saves his rubles for twenty years to buy a new car. Surprised or even concerned to learn that it will take two years for the new car to be delivered, he thanks the salesman and starts to leave, but as he reaches the door he pauses and turns back to the salesman.

'Do you know which week two years from now the new car will arrive?', he asks. The salesman checks his notes and tells Morris that it will be two years to the exact week. The man thanks the salesman and starts out again, but upon reaching
the door, he turns back again.

'Could you possibly tell me what day of the week two years from now
the car will arrive?' The salesman, mildly annoyed, checks his notes again and says that it will be exactly two years from this week, on Thursday. Morris thanks the salesman and once again starts to leave. Halfway though the door, he hesitates, turns back, and walks up to the salesman.

'Years from now on Thursday in the morning, or in the afternoon?' Visibly irritated, the salesman flips through his papers yet another time and says sharply that it will be in the afternoon, two years from now on Thursday.

'That's a relief!' says Morris. 'The plumber will be coming that morning!'