Humor: Trust such a doctor ?

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A:Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste them on exercise . Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of
your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
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Q:Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
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Q:Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A:No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
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Q:How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A:Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
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Q:What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
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Q:Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A:You're not listening....Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
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Q:Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
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Q:Is chocolate bad for me?

A:Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable. It's the best feel-good food around!!
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Q:Is swimming good for your figure?

A:If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
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Q:Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! !
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Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

Humour: IT'S TIME TO DIET AND EXERCISE WHEN...

...you try to do a few pushups and discover that certain body parts refuse to leave the floor.

...your children look through your wedding album and want to know who Daddy's first wife was.

...you get winded just saying the words "six-kilometer run."

...you come to the conclusion that, if God really wanted you to touch your toes each morning, He would have put them somewhere around your knees.

...you analyze your body honestly and decide what you should develop first is your sense of humor.

...you step on a talking scale and it says, "Come back when you're alone."

...to you, "Itsy-Bitsy Teenie-Weenie Yellow Polka dot Bikini" and "The Impossible Dream" become the same song.

...you accept the fact that you can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but not while you're wearing a bathing suit.

Cancer Research: Cancer therapy does not affect level of fitness

Getting cancer is an extremely serious issue, and even if you have a form of cancer that is easily treatable, there is the worry about whether the cancer treatment will leave you debilitated, physically weak, and dependent. There is the example of the cyclist Lance Armstrong who came back from intensive cancer treatment to win numerous Tour De France cycling trophies, a very high endurance test. In a study done on the physical fitness and endurance of cancer patients undergoing therapy, it was concluded that the level of cardiovascular fitness among cancer survivors remains unaffected by therapies (link to article):

"In order to prescribe an exercise programme, it's critical that we understand our patient's fitness level and whether or not treatment has had an impact on their cardiovascular health," she said. Researchers conducted a chart review of 49 women who attended a physician-directed fitness clinic for cancer survivors, founded and run by Priscilla Furth, the study's co-author. Test completion and heart rate recovery were not affected by treatment or age.

It may be time to diet & exercise if--

--you try to do a few pushups and discover that certain body parts refuse to leave the floor.

--your children look through your wedding album and want to know who Daddy's first wife was.

--you get winded just saying the words "ten-kilometer run."

--you come to the conclusion that, if God really wanted you to touch your toes each morning, He would have put them somewhere around your knees.

--you analyze your body honestly and decide what you should develop first is your sense of humor.

--you step on a talking scale and it says, "Come back when you're alone."