Joke: The license

A little girl and her mother were out and about. The girl, out of the blue, asked her mother, "Mommy, How old are you?"

The mother responded, "Honey, women don't talk about their age. You'll learn this as you get older."

The girl then asked, "Mommy, how much do you weigh?"

Her mother responded again, "That's another thing women don't talk about. You'll learn this, too, as you grow up."

The girl still wanting to know about her mother, then fires off another question, "Mommy, Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"

The mother, a little annoyed by the questions, responded, "Honey, that is a subject that hurts me very much, and I don't want to talk about it now."

The little girl, frustrated, sulks until she is dropped off at a friend's house to play. She consults with her girlfriend about her and her mother's conversation.

The girlfriend says, "All you have to do is sneak and look at your mother's driver's license. It's just a like a report card from school. It tells you everything."

Later, the little girl and her mother are out and about again. The little girl starts off with, "Mommy, Mommy, I know how old you are. I know how old you are. You're 32 years old."

The mother is very shocked. She asks, "Sweetheart, how do you know that?"

The little girl shrugs and says, "I just know. And I know how much you weigh. You weigh 130 pounds."

"Where did you learn that?"

The little girl says, "I just know. And I know why you and daddy got a divorce. You got an "F" in sex."

Humor: The mommy test

I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter.

She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I asked her not to do that.

"Why?"

"Because it's been laying outside and is dirty and probably has germs."

At this point, she looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"

"Uh," I was thinking quickly, everyone knows this stuff, "Um, it's on the mommy test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a mommy."

"Oh."

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information.

" I get it!" she beamed. "Then if you flunk, you have to be the daddy."

Humour: 10 Rules For Dating My Daughter

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, because you're not picking anything up here.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below the neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to insure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a 'barrier method' of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate... When it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you to expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is, "Early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt that you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it's okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:

•Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.

•Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns with eyesight.

•Places where there is darkness.

•Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.

•Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.

•Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies that feature chain saws are okay.

•Hockey games are okay.

•Old folks homes are better.


Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car. There is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

Hindi Serial - Laali – the Snake Charmer (Agle janam mohe bitiya hi kijo on Zee Tv)

The monsoons, though most welcome, can cause havoc at times. The film city area in Mumbai which is the shooting hub of the entertainment industry, also shelters some of the deadly creatures of this planet. The cast and crew of Agle janam mohe bitiya hi kijo are literally having a reptile scare quite often! Every other day they are being hounded by deadly lizards, scorpions, worms of various kinds! The unit lost their cool when one day they found a snake loitering around the sets. It hit the panic button because people didn’t know what to do! Everything was in helter skelter until savior came in the form our brave Laali who came out rushing from her make up room when this fiasco was on …
And she managed to charm the snake like a pro! During the earlier days of Agle janam …when the unit was stationed at Wai; amongst other ghastly things like plunging in mucky water, rolling in mud, walking bare feet in scorching heat , catching a rat; this was another art which Lali had learnt from one of the villager. Though it never came handy then, but now out of the blue this sudden advent of snake god had lali shed all her inhibitions and tame the snake…

Quite a braveheart! True daughter of the soil….

When contacted Ratan, she said, “It may sound funny and unrealistic but it’s true that I have shot with real snakes in the 2nd episode itself. Yes they were trained ones but it was quite adventurous shooting then in Wai. Yes very often you would experience some or the other reptile on the sets during monsoons but that’s natural. The other day when the unit saw snake, they freaked and panicked big time. Though I was also a little scared but managed to throw it out of the sets.”

Hindi Serial - Balika Vadhu on Colors - Starting to know a secret of Kalyani

Balika Vadhu on Colors has 2 distinct stories going on inside it. One is the story of Shyaam Shyaam and Sugna, the other is the story of what was there in Kalyani's (Dadi-sa's) past. There was a story where Jagdish had got into some bad company, skipping school and making some new bad friends who got him into betting, gambling (cards) and stealing money in some way or the other to meet these needs. However, when Bhairon got to know, he put an end to this story altogether with a thorough chewing out of Jagdish (and even asking Kalyani not to interfere).
The next story ongoing is the story of Sugna and Shyaam. Shyaam finally married Sugna after his parents backed out (when they found that Sugna was already pregnant, even though she had not had her 'Gauna' as yet). In spite of the fierce opposition of his parents, Shyaam went ahead. Right now, he is estranged from his parents who cannot believe that their son is taking somebody else's side rather than listening to his parents. And of course, there is no question of Sugna going to live in Shyaam's house since his parents would not accept her. Sugna however is too much still in love with Pratap, and does not accept that Shyaam is now her husband. She even defies Dadi who wants Sugna to now respect and obey her husband. But Shyaam is still willing to defend Sugna for her independence, and does not want anybody to reproach her. Will Shyaam remain true ? There are persistent rumors that Shyaam will eventually turn into a negative character.
The second main story is about Kalyani's past. Anandi's father, Khazan Singh, had to give his farmland to a money-lender for getting the money for Sugna's marriage gift, and now he is in problem since his farm is being sold off and he does not have the money. The farm is being sold to a rich man in another village who is distantly related to Kalyani, but when this problem is related to Kalyani, she refuses to get involved and instead scolds Anandi when Anandi tries to raise this problem to Dadi. It is slowly being shown that at some time in the past, after Kalyani lost her husband, she had slapped this man, and there is something hidden. One is sure that soon, these hidden secrets will get revealed, especially since Jagdish and Anandi met that man to get the land back.

Videos of Balika Vadhu (August 19th) on Colors (video on Youtube):

Balika Vadhu 19th august HD QUALITY part 1 2009



Balika Vadhu 19th august HD QUALITY part 2 2009



Balika Vadhu 19th august HD QUALITY part 3 2009



Balika Vadhu 19th august HD QUALITY part 4 2009

Hindi Serial - Jyoti - things are never simple

Even after Jyoti is now married (happily) to Pankaj, there will always be problems in her life, apparently. So, what happens is that though Jyoti had decided to get married to Pankaj, she had not fully accepted him initially, but now seems to have done. However, she is still hiding things from him, in the sense that she has never told him about Sushma, which seems a bit strange thing to do. No matter what the relation with your sister would be like, why would you not tell your husband about this ? No wonder the husband is likely to get angry with her.
In the meantime, there are 2 more stories that are getting played out. One is regarding Jyoti's sister Sudha. Sudha has something strange, a split personality where one half of her is care-free, while the other half is the docile, strangely scared girl. Jyoti, and other people near her have seen both, but are not easily able to connect both these separate personalities; in fact, the person who has fallen in love with her is unable to fully comprehend as to what is happening with the girl he loves.
Sushma is in an even worse condition. Her marriage to Brij now seems to be a mistake, since Brij wants her to go to any extent to make money, forcing her to dance in front of people who ogle at her body and want to have fun with her; in one case, she is forced to give into a stranger. Brij, as a demonstration of his bad nature, now pretends that he has a severe illness, for which Sushma needs to get money from anywhere. She continues to work at dance places and parties, making money while wearing short clothes.

Hindi TV Serial - Bhagyavidhaata serial on Colors - The marriage happens again

Bhagyavidhaata reached a critical phase. The Sinha family wants to get rid of their unwanted daughter-in-law, but is afraid of what her brother (the man who wields force and guns) will do, and hence comes to a plan whereby Vinay Sinha will leave the house instead of asking Bindiya to leave the house; the idea being that when their son is not in the house and not traceable, they can ask Bindiya to also go back to her house.
However, this plan is not to be, since Bindiya's brother finds out about this plan, and reaches their house with his men, and starts threatening the Sinha household again, and it is clear that the plan for Vinay to go away has failed. It is now that Vinay takes a decision to finally accept Bindiya (till now he has not accepted her, and humiliates her on every opportunity).
Vinay declares to his family that he will accept Bindiya and marry her again, so that his family will be forced to accept that Bindiya is now the proper daughter-in-law and will have no reason not to accept her anymore; they can no longer look for a way to get rid of her. He asks for both sets of parents to be there, and then marries Bindiya formally.

06 29 09 Bindya slaps Raja Bhaiyya (Video on Youtube):

Hindi Serials: Na Aana Iss Des Ladoo - Sia is back to be humiliated by Ammaji

Previously, Sia had been trapped in a major plan in which Ammaji's son had tricked her into marriage, and once the marriage had happened, they proved that Sia's character was not good; this helped Ammaji in getting her revenge on Sia, as well as on Sia's father. As part of the revenge on Sia's father, Ammaji got him beaten up, and then got the village panchayat to blacken his face and put him on a donkey.
After all, Sia is shaken, but very defiant. She promises to take revenge, and as part of that, she has to get back to the haveli and take whatever punishment Ammaji delivers onto her. So, you have the sight of Sia falling at Ammaji's feet and asking for mercy. Ammaji of course gloats at this sight, and decides to let Sia into the house while making her work like a servant, including sleep in an outhouse. Her family members are forbidden to have any sympathy for Sia, and Ammaji still keeps on humiliating Sia at every opportunity, remembering the time that Sia stood upto Ammaji's actions. However, it must only be the arrogance that Ammaji has that prevents her from recognizing that Sia was not the type of person to suddenly show such humility, how could she not suspect that Sia is out for revenge.
The serial has also started showing some divisions in Ammaji's family, with her sons resenting the attention shown to one of the sons, and you also got to hear that one of her sons is actually making sure that he is putting some money aside every month in a different bank account, something that Ammaji definitely would not know.
One is pretty sure that the serial would show the humiliation being depicted on Sia for some more time before they can show how Sia can extract her revenge for the humiliation that her family and she has undergone.

Hindi Serials - Balika Vadhu on Colors - Sugna's marriage problems

Sugna seems to be the character used to symbolize many of the problems facing women. She was married off at a young age, and her 'Gauna' (sending off to the groom's (Pratap's) house), an occasion of great celebration and joy, turned dismal when her husband, Pratap was killed by dacoits during the course of a robbery. Her in-laws blamed her for the death of her husband, and as a result, it was quite clear that Sugna could not live in their house; she remained in her parents house, and adapted the lifestyle of a widow (living in a small room, eating simple food, not enjoying life). Soon, it was the presence of Farida Jalal who forced some changes in the way Sugna lived her life, getting her to go back to school, and start enjoying some of the more simple pleasures of life.
And then enters a new character, called Shyam, a young guy, who is actually the son of Madan, a neighbor from the village who has a long standing feud with Kalyani and her sons, and keeps fighting with them over many issues. Shyam likes Sugna and slowly gets more attracted to her (he also saves Jagdish's life once), and eventually proposes to her. Initially Kalyani is not happy over this, but she turns around over a period of time, since it also means that Sugna would get married again. There is a lot of issue about this, since Sugna used to meet Pratap before her Gauna and is pregnant with Pratap's child (even though Sugna was not supposed to have a physical relationship with Pratap before the Gauna, and this pregnancy horrifies Kalyani, given the social problems this would cause).
Eventually, Kalyani agrees for the marriage, and Shyam knows about the pregnancy, and is fine with it. Madanji is not told about the pregnancy since Shyam volunteers to share the information with his father. And soon, it is time for the marriage. However, Kalyani's hopes that the pregnancy would get hidden go for a toss when Sugna is not supposed to do the 7 pheras around the fire because of her pregnancy; and this is when it is realizes that Shyam has not told anyone about this pregnancy. Both his elder uncle and father object vehemently, and make the information (that was supposed to be kept a secret) public. Shyam so far has been not following his father's orders, and sticks to his stand that he has come to marry Sugna and will do so.

BALIKA VADHU 8th July PART-1


BALIKA VADHU 8th July PART-2


BALIKA VADHU 8th July PART-3


BALIKA VADHU 8th July PART-4


BALIKA VADHU 8th July PART-5

Hindi Serial - Sia to stage a fight back in 'Na Aana Iss Desh Ladoo'

Na Aana Iss Desh Ladoo is portraying the concept of a village where the women are terrorised, where they have no rights other than to portray the role of mothers who give birth to male children, who are thrown into small locker like rooms if they do show some spirit or some sign of resistance. And the surprising concept was that this entire repression is lead by another lady, Ammaji, a strong willed matriarch who leads this effort to maintain the male dominance. It is she who sends her daughter-in-laws to repression, who gets the female babies killed, who breaks up education campaigns for the women in the village.
And then there was somebody who stood up to her, and this was the daughter, Sia, of the new village doctor. She tried to give the women right to education, and then she fell in love with this guy. At that time, there was a hunch, that something would happen such that Sia would eventually land up in the household of Ammaji, and this is what eventually ends up happening. Even though Sia knew that the person she loved was the son of Ammaji, she eventually gave in to his persuasion (they have portrayed as very stupid, in my opinion), and married him.
And then it happened. As per Ammaji's plan, Ammaji hired somebody to portray as if Sia had a loose character, got her hauled before the Panchayat, got the Panchayat to punish her father (after beating her father up when he came to protest) by blackening his face. Now, Sia must be totally destroyed. And this is where the serial now seems to be showing a fight back. Sia vows to destroy Ammaji's house from inside, by acting like a Durga in her house. Will she manage to live up to this promise ?

Bhagyavidhaata serial on Colors

Serials nowadays are trying to be more socially conscious, a number of them saw how the previously popular saas-bahu serials started losing attention, and then saw how a serial such as Ballika Vadhu that takes a social issue can become very popular, and so a number of serials have jumped onto the same league of having socially active serials. So there are serials dealing with child marriage, dealing with the condition of poor in society, dealing with caste differences, and so on.
So, Colors has very recently launched another serial called, "Sabki Jodi Wohi Banaata… Bhagyavidhaata", and the motif of the serial is about, how in Bihar's lopsided society, the difficulty of getting a poor and average looking girl married off is so difficult that people came up with the idea of getting their girls married off by force, through kidnapping the groom, and under the pressure of force, getting him married to their girl. It is not so however for the girl after that, since her in-laws would not readily accept her (after all, if they were looking for nice dowry, then they would feel cheated, and since it is assumed that the boy's side has an upper hand, getting the boy married by force would not appeal).



And so it is in the case of Bindiya, who is an educated girl with morals and values, but is from a not so well off family, and who is average looking. Her brother, using force, kidnaps a valued boy, and gets her married off to this boy, who is not able to forcefully resist because of the guns all around him. However, since he does not feel any relation to her, and because the rest of his household (except for his elder brother) do not like the situation other, they ill-treat her, making her do all the work in the house. Her elder sister-in-law (the elder bahu of the house), in fact, screams at her all the time and otherwise also makes her do all the work of the house. Even her father is not treated well when he comes to their house. However, what will happen now ? Will she ever get proper treatment from a household that feels that they were forced into doing something ?

Videos of Bhagyavidhata on Youtube

Bhagyavidhata 6 may 09 part 1:


Bhagyavidhata 6 may 09 part 2:


Bhagyavidhata 6 may 09 part 3

Jyoti - the marriage happens

Jyoti is a serial on NDTV Imagine that takes the life of a girl who is struggling to help all those who depend on her, but who has to face obstacles at many walks of life. After being almost evicted from her house, Jyoti was finally finding happiness, getting married to Pankaj, who is blind, but who is very loving. And she finds more happiness, but you know for sure that something bad will happen later, after all, the serial depends on showing her struggling and still keeping her good faith and nature intact.
Even though she is separated from her family, they find out about her marriage, and all of them decide to go for the marriage other than the mother Padma, and obviously her sister Susham (and Sushma's husband Brij).
So, the family members land up at the marriage, and after some initial struggle with the guards at the gate, they meet Jyoti and also have a good meeting with Pankaj's family members. Of course, there are the usual set of guests at the marriage who can do nothing but gossip, and they are speculating on how Pankaj managed to land such a beautiful girl; and then start speculating on why the family members of the girl were not there at the wedding.
In another coincidence, Sushma and Brij had been hired to perform at the marriage, and they did not know that this was supposed to be Jyoti's wedding. When they see Jyoti at the wedding, they are shocked, and go back. In the end, when Padma is missing not being present at Jyoti's marriage, Sushma calls up (with Brij having drunk, and now being frustrated and drunk), and tries to provoke Padma against Jyoti.

Video of scene at Jyoti's marriage on June 24, 2009

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Part 2:


Part 3:


Part 4:

Hindi Serials - Jyoti about to get married to Pankaj - NDTV Imagine

Jyoti is about to get married to Pankaj, and the serial has showcasing this for quite some time. After Jyoti left her house after feeling that no one in the house wanted her there (and her own step-mother, whom she loved as a mother also seemed to hate her as opposed to her other sister Susham), she went to the Kendra and stayed there for support. This was also the time when she tried to commit suicide after being in depression for some time. She was still very cut off from her family and not in contact.
At the same time, Sushma and Brij were trying to make the most of the situation, with Susham assuring her mother that things will be fine, and at the same time, trying to take Jyoti's position in the dance show. However, things are not totally well between Sushma and Brij, with Sushma seeing the harsher side of Brij, and starting to get scared of his temper, as was seen recently when the club manager was criticizing Sushma for not smiling while giving her performance, and Brij looking on with anger.
Jyoti in the meantime, has agreed to marry Pankaj who plays a blind but loving man in the serial. Even after she is asked repeatedly, she is firm on her determination to marry Pankaj, and things are peaking for the various functions that happen at this stage. Jyoti showed the Mehndi ceremony, and Pankaj was able to understand the various items drawn on Jyoti's hand even though he was blind, something that impressed Jyoti a lot. At the same time, the problems in her house because of lack of an earning member are growing.

Video of Jyoti serial on 17 June 2009

Part 1:


Part 2:


Part 3:

Indian Hindi Serials - Na Aana Iss Des Laado on Colors TV

As you see shows moving away from the Saas Bahu, a lot of the shows are moving towards stories based on social problems, whether they be about class differences such as in Uttaran, or about underage marriage as in Ballika Vadhu, or about female infanticide, such as in 'Na Aana Is Desh Ladoo' on Colors TV. The show deals with the concept of female infanticide and repression of women in a village. Surprisingly (or maybe not so surprising), the repression of women is fully supported by another strong woman, Ammaji. Ammaji is the one who decides that a woman has asserted herself too much and needs to be pushed into a small closed and suffocating room, it is Ammaji who decrees that newly born girls would be killed by drowning them in milk, and many other such acts.



However, Ammaji is slowly starting to meet resistance. The daughter of a new doctor in the village, Sia, is slowly starting to rebel against the practices implemented by Ammaji that are very anti-women. In a twist, Sia falls in love with Ammaji's own son Raghav (who has also rebelled against the family - however, we were long speculating that Sia would in fact fall for one of Ammaji's family members and would have to withstand Ammaji's pressures and methods), and finally after some long thought and a lot of drama, decided that she would get married to Raghav.
Against all expectations, Ammaji seems to welcome the marriage, however, you cannot expect this welcome to continue, and so it would be. There will be happenings where Sia will come under a lot of pressure, and Ammaji would seem to gain the upper hand.

Video of Na Aana Is Desh Ladoo on 10 June 2009 on Youtube









More videos of Na Aana Iss Desh Ladoo on Youtube (click here)

Weird news: Giving away $1 million worth of savings in a mattress

Sometimes good tasks can also result in harm. What else are the results you can draw from the below story ? A daughter sought to do good to her elderly mother, and bought a new mattress for her to replace the old that the mother was using. She also wanted to make this a surprise, so she took the effort of throwing out the old one and replacing with the new one. However, this surprise turned into a huge shock for everybody concerned when it was disclosed that the old mattress contained nearly $1 million, the life savings of the mother. And the mattress had been taken away by trash (link to article):

A woman in Tel Aviv, Israel, gave her elderly mother a new mattress as a surprise gift, throwing out the old tattered bed her mother had slept on for decades. The gesture ended up bankrupting Annat's mother, who had stuffed her savings of nearly $1 million inside her old bed for decades, Annat told Israel Army Radio. A massive search is under way at the city dump, where security has been beefed up to keep out treasure-seekers who have heard Annat's story in Israeli media.
Annat alerted the two major dump sites in the Israeli city in an effort to locate the bed, but so far she has had no luck. Yitchak Burba, one of the dump site managers, told Army Radio that he and his men are working relentlessly to try to help Annat find the million-dollar mattress among the tons of garbage at the landfill. The publicity has triggered a wave of people also trying to find the mattress and its contents for themselves. Burba has increased security around the dump to keep them out.

Such news is very traumatic to read. It almost reminds of that saying that I heard once: "No good deed goes unpunished".